|Current mood:|| hopeful|
You have life to live for.
Just because he dumped you doesnt mean the world ends. Bobby isnt the last man you will love...... for a while im sure you wont want to love anyone, but in time it will come again. Hopefully then things will be better, and you will both be mature enough to make it work. Every bump in the road is a way to learn and grow. What happened is horible, it shouldnt happen, something that is so great shouldnt have so much pain to follow. But i guess thats what makes the great so great. Like they say, you cant have good unless you have evil. Life doesnt always work out as planned. Time is a big role in that. Right now, or when you have the freedom and posibility, like transportation.... you should have fun. Not worry about a serious relationship, go out and just date a guy. No one says every person you date you have to "date". You dont have to have sex..... just have fun. Meet different people. As one of my fav actors say..."mingle". I know your not going to want to do it right away. Remeber, Men are good, boys are stupid and imature and horible. Some day you will find your man, and i will be there, at your wedding, telling you how beautiful and lucky you are. I will be there when you throw your baby shower. Those and many more are things to live for.
Plus, the only reason you would turn into your mom is if you want to, or if you just give up. You went to tech school, you have your certificates. When you get a car, im sure you will find a job. Then save up some money and some day even start a little business. You could have your own photography bussiness. It would take a lot of work, but you could do it. Set dreams and goals for yourself and make them happen. Try your hardest. Dont worry about love, think about your future, what you are going to do, where you want to be. you cant set goals on love, that just happens. But other things you can. And remeber to be safe. A lot of girls dont even have sex until they are maried. the best way to not get prego is not having sex. So wait, and if you dont want to then be as safe as you can. That way you dont end up with 5 kids. i know someone you can talk to, she comes to our class on thursday and talks to us about well living after highschool. She is really nice and im sure she would be more than glad to talk to you. Tell her what you want to be, let her know about what you have so far. Tell her about your family, about your deploma and your certificates. She will help you find a way. If you want i can ask her to talk to you..... I know it sounds weird and a bit scarey even, but it is that first step. Plus what harm could it do. You already said you dont have anything to do....... I really think it would be a good idea, hell a great idea. She isnt a teacher, so it wont be like that..... she really is nice.
I believe that anyone can do anything if they believe. If they dont give up, and if they ask for help. i know that you can do it. You just need to believe in yourself. I mean ok think of the alternative, you can either stay the way you are now, feeling like shit and not thinking you can do anything, or you can try and who knows, stun yourself. either it will work out or it wont. even if it doesnt you will just be where you are now........ right. So what harm is at trying? Lol i should have just e-mailed you this, but oh well lol. i love you girly and i know you can do it. Now you just have to trust in yourself.
Remember how bobby would call me a hippie or say i just doze off into space. Yeah i do look on the brighter side, and i try to find good in everything.... i use to be gloomy and really depressed, but i just didnt want to be that, so i desided to just look on the brighter side. It may sound stupid and rediculous, but who do you think is happier and living better. me with my dreams and hopes, or him with his whinning and hate......... Who would you rather be. dont let people think that you are stupid or air headed. If your happy then what do they matter. find that something that just makes you feel like you are the best, or makes you feel safe. With me its being in nature, or feeling the wind of my face, that always makes me smile for some reason. Its better to smile at something that sounds stupid than to never smile at all.