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Wow! Talk about -busy-! I get back in town, and I don't even have time to unpack my stuff! The only familiar people are Ramone, Natalie, and Dwayne. Oh... and the new Watcher. And I'm -still- not allowed to scan the books for easier searching. Mr. Giles told me last time that that's a safety measure so another Moloch or Grimoire isn't accidentally created. Heh... Grimoire. That's a long story. You see... somebody... uh, I won't tell you who because I kind of know her, accidentally scanned a bunch of spellbooks of spoken spells so that there'd be an easy to search and cross-reference database of all her spells. Unfortunately, the scanning of the spells caused them to become cast at the moment they were scanned, and the database became self-aware and totally went on a rampage and it was really hard to stop until somebody (that's me) had the bright idea to throw the circuit breaker on the lightpole outside the house. Problem solved. Watcher's council has the Grimoire but I don't know what they're gonna do with it. Probably not use it. I bet it could be put to good use if somebody could reasonably converse with one-hundred eighty-seven self-aware spells. I digress. Anyway! I get back in town, and there's a sewer monster running crazy through the 'stend (That's the "west end"). So we all geared up. I brought salt and standard weapons alotment, which usually means a crossbow, five bolts, and an axe. I never go anywhere without salt on the offhand chance I'll find a demon that actually is bothered by it, and also, you know, voodoo zombies. Anyway, we find the nasty creep by following it around the sewers. Then we get outside, and there it is. It's totally gross. I would use the term "fecamental" to describe it. Anyway, we fight it, and standard weapons just kind of go right through it because it's essentially a hyper-evolved plasmoidial slime mold. Given the standard salinity of a plasmoidal slime mold, and the salinity of the sewers that it had been deriving the majority of its bulk from, I concluded that concentrated salt might in fact be a poison to a creature that fluid. So I cracked the top on my salt grenade and chucked it at the slime mold. I didn't get a direct hit, but when the salt struck the creature, it was pretty obvious that the thing couldn't handle raw salt. So we called up our friend in the city police and had them secret borrow a salt truck for us and lured the fecamental to the empty pool. Once the thing was inside, we dumped the truck onto it and the creature was reduced rapidly in size until it was more manageable. THen we packed up the remains and prepared to send them to someplace safe. And I'm back! Flesh and blood, and back in action! Yay! I missed spending my time with my friends. The new girl is kind of scary. Also, I like her model of cell phone. I want one! Oh! I could come up with high-frequency communicator watches we could all wear that run on cesium slugs. That would be cool. Maybe a three year battery life out of them. Oh! And the fecamental gave me ideas about new ways of subduing demons. It reminded me of the Fyarl demon, and its paralytic mucus. I suspect I could probably synthesize a protein compound based on hagfish mucus, but super-up the viscousity and totally make a working goop gun to subdue demons and bad guys! Also... I bet if I impregnate the mixture with garlic, it would additionally repulse any vampires that got caught in the goop. Imagine a vampire who can't get help getting out of the goop or even fight his way out because of the incapacitating effect of the garlic! Yahoo! Anyway, I have to get back to the lab. Jennifer sent me something. I'm dying to see what it is. Demon Hunting Tip of the Week: Never be afraid to look to nature for means of combatting the things that lurk in the night. From the humble skunk that produces a wickedly odiferous concoction (not unlike using concentrated garlic oil against vampires), to the hagfish (see the goop-gun, above), to the... well, something else... let nature inspire you in your war against the pan-dimensional horrors! Post a comment in response: |
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