Just another day...
Since I wanted someplace to vent along with hearing other peoples opinions or suggestions, I'm glad to say that I found this. I hope it's interesting and beneficial.
Today I'm 25 1/2 weeks pregnant. Same back problems like I was having w/ my son. This little guy moves all over the place too! Can't wait to meet him.
Matt had to go to his youngest daughters eye apt. He wasn't looking forward to seeing Psycho at all. Now she's the main reason why I need to journal. I am an honest person, open to change, but I been given the radar to tell whether the person standing in front of me is real or not. She's not. That's where her and I collide. Along w/ the fact that I married her ex-husband. We got along for the girls' in the beginning. I guess you could say I tolerated her since I was the communicator between her and Matt. Then Matt and I married and before you knew it I was having restraining orders put on me. I had to appear in court, I've never been in trouble in my life. I had to leave my own home when Matt had visitation because she feared her daughters safety when with me. She tried pulling the same shit on Matt but the courts wouldn't allow it since there was no proof and my case was rescheduled. What's funny...I tape every conversation w/ her and she lied. She dropped the case a month later just to be a bitch. Our state doesn't move too quick. After that, then I have the police show up at my in-laws house saying I broke a restraining order back to court. They dropped it. Then the police show up at my home at mid-night. The girls' and I are sleeping. Matt just got back from a softball game and there's a knock on the door. Here Psycho called the police department saying I was breaking an order and she feared that I was abusing her kids. It was 1 in the morning and I needed to leave my home or they would arrest me if they saw me outside. This just keeps getting better. I go back and get the police report. She doctored the order to read that I needed to be away from the girls', the order only said her because she feared her safety. Wish I would have decked her then she'd have a reason for the order! Anywho, the report said that the girls' came home last week and were happy to see me. Then she tells the disbatch that she believed that I was abusing her daughters. I don't get it. We think we're dealing w/ someone with multiple personalities for sure. That whole rollercoaster lasted at least 6 mos. Now it's just a money game. She finally married 2 years ago. We thought for sure things would be done. My husband has been accused of child porn to their parenting time consultant which took 3 sessions for her to come up w/ that. She didn't/doesn't want him disaplining them, having them bathe here, or sleep over. She is one sick and twisted bitch if you ask me. She gets $1500/mo and she wants more. If you saw how our girls' are dressed you'd think we paid nothing. They look like welfare cases. She on the other hand has since quit her job, dresses to the 9's and lives in a very private community where all the houses are at least $600,000 or better. I'm embarrassed for her when I see the girls. I believe how your children look is a total reflection of you. The girls' ALWAYS look better or the same as my son and us when we're out in public. She just allows them to dress the way they want since they were 5 because she only picks battles she can win she says. Helloooooooo, ever heard of giving them 2 choices???? Uuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh. Just thinking about it is frustrating me. This past winter the then 7 year old little girl had a broken zipper on her winter coat. My husband e-mailed her mom to make sure she had it fixed. Nope, 2 mos later he took her coat to a place and had it fixed. We only get the girls' once a week and every other wknd. She has physical custody and still can't take care of things. Then she lost her boots, it's a Friday and she gets into the truck at pickup and is crying because she has had to wear her mom's winter boots and she can't play and keep up with her friends because her feet pop out of the boots. Her mom's boots are a womens size 9. Our 7 year old wore a 2. How embarrassing. We sent her home w/ boots from our house since she would have grown out of them. Their mom said nothing. Not thank you, not I'm looking for boots, nothing. And she has her daughters best interest in mind, my ass. I'm not their mother and I have more interest in how they look, dress and feel emotionally and physically. The girls are now 10 and 8 and I still hear "I wish you were my mom", "why didn't dad marry you first". The funny thing, I NEVER talk bad about that woman. As much as I want to, I don't. I don't want them ever looking at me and telling me that I was slamming their mom. They don't need to hear it, they see what she does and they'll never forget. They don't me to remind them. All I say is she's being the best mom she knows how to be. Whether or not that's true is irrelivant. It breaks my heart when they say that. What am I suppose to say? I give hugs and kisses and send them on their way.
Today Matt was faced w/ her discipline reaction by the youngest one. A couple years back our younger one flipped when she saw the water bottle on the top of the fridge. She wouldn't go into the kitchen when her dad was calling her. When he finally asked her what was wrong the older one said "she sees the water bottle". Matt asked what she was talking about and then the tears came pouring from the little one. Our older one said her mom's first name (they don't call her mom here, they call me mom, it's weird but that's how they seperate homes I guess) "squirts ---------(her sisters name) in the face when she screams or yells". Our younger one wears glasses too. The older one said that sometimes she has to take off her glasses so she could get squirted in the face. Matt was beyound pist off. He gave her a huge hug and told her we only had the squirt bottle for the new kitty's we got so they wouldn't jump on the counters. She was relieved. Well, that form of "disapline" that her mother used came out in shear terror today when she had to be squirted in the face with something to make your eyes dialate. She cried and hyperventalated saying she was going to die. Her mother had the nerve to look at Matt and say "we should leave, this is something that she needs to do on her own". My husband said that he wasn't leaving her and she could go and she did. UNREAL. He has more self control then I because I would have told her that it was her fault for her the way she feared the squirt bottle due to her tortureous ways of disciplining. Matt never brought it up to her, but did to the parenting time consultant that they do see. She agreed that Matt should meet w/ the Dr. to let her know why she fears that so much. It took 3 people to hold her down, 2 nurses and my husband. She's a tiny little girl but she wanted to run for the hills. So we just have to sit and wait now until the girls' are old enough to run away basically. In our state one can't get joint physical custody unless the other parent agrees, or the court sees the other parent unfit, or the children that they want to be w/ the other parent as opposed to the one their with. That's only allowed to happen if the child is in troube w/ school, law etc. Not a father friendly state. I have a child w/ my husband and another on the way. I would do everything possible to make sure he was involved in their lives. Just because him and Ididn't work doesn't mean he can't work w/ his kids. My best friends and I are a lot a like, and we all think the same way when it comes to parents and children of divorce, or out of wed-lock. If the other parent wants to be involved let them as long as they don't harm the child or influence the child badly/wrongly. You chose to sleep w/ them and have them subject to being a your childs parent, if it was your choice to lay down...don't make the kids suffer for something that went bad between you and the other parent. I've been married before, no kids. But my ex-husband wasn't a bad guy. We just made bad decisions in our marriage that we needed it terminated if there were child/ren involved he still would have been their dad as much as I their mom. Lots of prayers for piece of mind in our home that's for sure. I feel like we're married to her. GAG ME. Gotta go. ~Meha