|Current mood:|| discontent|
|Current music:||Dash fucking board.|
I LOVE YOU
t was in the march of the winter I turned seventeen
That I bought those pills
I thought I would need
And I wrote a letter to my family
Said it's not your fault
And you've been good to me
Just lately I've been feeling
Like I don't belong
Like the ground's not mine to walk upon
And I've heard that music
Echo through the house
Where my grandmother drank
And I sat watching a flower
As it was withering
I was embarrassed by its honesty
So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
Not this fucking wreck
That's taken its place
So please forgive what I have done
No you can't stay mad at the setting sun
Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually
There is nothing left to do but sleep
But spring came bearing sunlight
Those persuasive rays
So I gave myself a few more days
My salvation it came, quite suddenly
When Justin spoke very plainly
He said "Of course it's your decision,
But just so you know,
If you decide to leave,
Soon I will follow"
I wrote this for a baby
Who has yet to be born
My brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
Cause it's cold out here
And it'll be quite a shock
To breathe this air
To discover loss
So I'd like to make some changes
Before you arive
So when your new eyes meet mine
They won't see no lies
I will be pure
No, no, I know i will be pure
Like snow, like gold
gosh. love. hate. kill. her. nick. love. alex. wonderful. hungry. cut. blood. emotions. die. suicide. blades. knives. hearts. guns. cross. love. beauty. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!
How to make a girl like you:
Tell her you think that she's cool. Tell her why you think she's so cool. Talk to her in
movie theatres. Just hold her hand. Pick her flowers out of other people's gardens and
give them to her. Tell her she looks pretty. Let her pay for stuff if she wants to.
Introduce her to your friends as 'the coolest girl I know'. Sit in the park and talk to her.
Tell her dirty jokes. Tell her stupid jokes. Talk about politics. Write poems about her.
Just walk around with her. Throw pebbles at her window at night, when she starts
swearing at you, tell her you love her. Take her to shows of bands she's never heard.
Hold her hand in the mush pit. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her. Call her back if
she calls you. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Carve your names into a tree.
Go see her band play even if they really suck. And tell her that they were great. Give
her space if she needs it. Stay up with her all night when she's sick. Write on her. Make
her a CD. Write her letters. If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even it means
a 5 hour train trip. Take her to cool shops and let her take you to even cooler ones.
Listen to all the bands she mentions. Don't tell her that her favorite bands suck. When
she's sad hang out with her or stay on the phone even if she's not saying anything.
Buy her ice cream. Let her take all the photos of you she wants. Look into her eyes.
Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast. Kiss her in the rain....
And when you fall in love with her, tell her.
JUST TELL ME ALREADY. ASK ME OUT. LOVE ME. BE WITH ME. GIVE ME SOMETHING!!!
sigh, cut again. I LOVE NN. on right hip. sigh, what the hell am i suppose to do? i do get it. Will someone like tell nick to love me? im sick of waiting. will someone want me? gosh. I NEED IT. you know what i mean. someone....alex? < you...want me? gosh. im starting to think, im worthless and no one wants me or needs me, but at the same time i want and need everyone else. there is something wrong with me, something really wrong.
the little girl who wants to die,