| Current mood: |  crushed |
| Current music: | Won't save her from herself- Marlyn Manson |
Fuck. Just FUCK.
I just tried writing all about how I feel, how I've been doing, and how much I am lacking sleep and such.
Then, I clicked on a fucking link to go to someone else's journal, and it decided to inhabit this browser window. When I clicked on the backbutton, every fucking word I had written -GONE. Fuckin eh.
So, I am not even going to fucking bother with this entry. All I will say is that I am fucked in the head. RIGHT FUCKED. I need pills RIGHT FUCKING NOW. If I don't get them, I don't know what the fuck I will do.
I just let myself get really fucking hurt today. I had written a huge paragraph about it in the entry that got deleted.. And, I am too fucking lazy to write about it again.
All I am going to say about that is that I think I've had it with love. Fuck it. Damn it to hell. The only man in the world who cared about me... and loved me (or so I thought)... really doesn't. That feels real good. Oh yes. I needed that about as much as I needed to thrust my wrist through that window six years ago. Or maybe... just maybe... I ... heh... I have no idea what I'm saying.
I don't know anything anymore.
The only feeling in my head that I can actually comprehend... is the uncontrollable urge to want to slit my forearms open from wrist to elbow, letting my enormous amounts of fat spill out onto the floor in a bloody mess.
Don't get scared, all ye who are reading this. What do you know? Maybe it's my time.
(Read comments)
|
