| Current mood: |  indescribable |
| Current music: | Adema-"Giving In" |
Fell in love with a girl...
...or not...
I am telling you, world, you are so fucked up. Ha. *pokes it, hoping it would explode, no luck* damnit.
Well I just had the worst day I have had in a long time. The funny thing is it has led me into a mood of "give me even more shit, I would like to see you try to make me feel worse." I dont think it can happen, because yet again *fan fare* I have had my heart crushed. Yeah, sit there, judge me, say I dont know what I am fucking talking about because all I will do is smile and dismiss it because I -do- know what its about, and I have been heartbroken in a lot of ways, so I have an excuse. Then again, anyone has an excuse to be heartbroken, just depends on what level of loss it is to them.
Why am I so defiant? Probably because I want to scream. heh, yeah thats it.
I would swallow my pride I would choke on the
rhines. But the lack thereof would leave me
empty inside I would swallow my doubt turn it
inside out find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart it in a blender.
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion.
Rendezvous then I'm through with you I burn
burn like awicker cabinet chalk white and oh so
frail I see out time has gotten stale. The tick
tock of the clock is painful. All sane and logical
I want to tear it off the wall I hear words and clips
and phrases I think sick like ginger ale. My stomach
turns and I exhale. So Cal is where my mind
states but it's not my state of mind I'm not as
ugly sad as you. Or am I origami folded up and
just pretend demented as the motives in your
head I alone am the one you don't know you
need me take heed feed your ego. Make me blind
when your eyes close sink when you get close
tie me to the bedpost.-"Inside Out" by Eve 6
I found that song a couple days ago, man I hate omens. I have been singing it in my head all day. I am supposed to be cleaning my room right now, but I dont really feel like it. Kinda bad since my aunt is going to be staying in it in a couple days. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. XP I can almost garentee I will get on later and write another post while I am being pethetic and crying. I swear, these mood swings are so much fun. *gags*
Lets see... good things(before I explode into a bout of tourettes). My brother is graduating next weekend from his undergrad stuff, and I am going to prom, wee! I actually did my last arrends for that today. *sighs* I am just taking it in stride because I am going to have fun, yanno, forget all the crap thats happened for one night, yanno. Besides, my dress is the prettiest shade of red, bloody red. =^.^=
So there, two things that can make me feel better.
ugh... dinner... guess I could stand to eat something.
Its gonna be fun in Hell, at least I am going to hang out with the intelectuals in Limbo.
-Lilly
sometimes, you dont even have to fucking ask...
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