Kevin (brigham) wrote, @ 2004-01-14 13:08:00

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

All my life I was told to pray and God will answer my prayers. When I told my bishop I no longer believed in God, he told me to pray nevertheless and God shall still answer my prayers. Yeah, so where is he now? I prayed, I asked him, no answers, the heavens are silent. Oh yes, I forgot, god cannot answer if he doesn't exist. I wonder how Derek can have the faith he has. It is hard for us, a non-believer and a believer living together is not that easy sometimes.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

The night before last I was holding him in my arms, unified as only lovers can be. After the drought of the last three months a new fountain broke through the surface. Quenching our thirst for each other the water of love flowed freely. Refereshed we lay in each other's arms, skin against skin, lips against lips. I never thought his lips could be so stiff. The embarrassed smile as he shyly covered his fragile body, hiding the scars from my loving eyes. The smoothness of his young skin. Yes, it is the other side of Heaven.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

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