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Rey (bodhipanda) wrote,
@ 2005-05-26 12:02:00
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    Current mood: contemplative

    Floating down the time stream
    Floating along, feeling the current. I feel that sometimes perhaps that my otherworldly senses are tied to my imagination. Lately I have been getting more and more in touch with it. Writing again. Need to set up my canvases and start painting and sketching again. Sometimes afraid of what images that will be produced from my subconscious that is so tied into the other world. My friend of the faerie folk consulted an advisor in such of the otherworld. Her advisor has seen my footprints in her life. She calls me "the special one", of extraordinary gifts. And I somehow see things without realizing it. Mostly gut feelings. Something that I cannot see in a visual sense. I am such a very visual person that I rarely believe anything that I am thinking of unless I can see it firsthand. So I just sense the positive and I sense the negative. I spread my positive energies around. But I am just as lost as anyone.
    On another note... Finding true love. Sometimes I know what I want. Most times, I do not. I chose to marry for love in the past. I do not know if I wish to travel that road again. So my heart is hardened like clay left in the sun. So there are choices now at this point. As I get further and further embroiled in it, I find my choices opening up. But to close the doors on the decided ones will be too difficult, that I barely fathom what I will actually do.
    Sometimes I wander in my mind like I am on these pages. Sometimes I am so cryptic that none understand it but me. Perhaps it is so much of the secret worlds in my life that I immerse myself in that I find some value in this otherwise mundane world we live in. I live in too many worlds. And yet I belong to none of them. Such vagaries and perplexing cryptic verbage resonates in my own mind so that perhaps I am but one of few who can even understand the nuances that I speak about. But it only makes sense in the moment captured here on words on a day that I feel and think of such things. Otherwise, it is all just bullshit to me.

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