| Current mood: | Bittersweet |
| Current music: | Biz Marke- "Just a friend" |
i play it over and over again... and i cant take it... i cant shake it...
One more drink mr. bartender...
So tonight i finally got to see a movie by myself... it was a well needed alone time. I went and saw Closer... i cried... a lot... bc one of the characters reminds me of someone... and that in itself makes me cry. I think im still not over him. ya... still! i thought i almost was... guess not....
So i think that im not that happy anymore. i love theater bc i can make myself seem perfectly normal and happy and excited about thing... when reallly im jsut dead. But when i seem unhappy that means that it has gotten to the extremes of not even being able to pretend anymore. oh joyous unhappiness how i loathe thee. I keep getting into these slums of anger and unhappiness... and they are triggered by like nothing! From plans being cancelled and having no one to hang out with or from my mother mouthing off to me or stress... its depressing really. I think that if i just left no one would notice for at least a week or so. At least... oh well... i guess it makes me even more happy taht i am going off to college in a semester. Ive been counting the days since the start of high school... Bc if no one will miss me i wont have to come home and waste gas too much. Ah well.... yall have fun here in kwood. i am very happy about leaving for college. i have never been able to leave anywhere before. I remember how much my life changed after just moving across kwood... my friends refused to hang out with me ever bc i was "too far away" and they didnt wanna have to call me, and wait for me to get there or heaven for bid ask their mothers to take them all the way to my house... thanx... well now i am such a better person bc i got to have that drunken alone time all 9th and 10th grade... and had time to date tons of guys 10th grade... thanx... so now i will raise my glass to you all... have fun here without me... bc i know you will all be perfectly fine without me. Auf Wiedershen...
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