|Current mood:|| predatory|
I've mostly been working since I got the job the day before yesterday. I work for 7 hours or so tonight. Yesterdat was uneventful besides work. Miguel and I talked online last night and we talked things over again. I ended up staying the night, not like it is a bad thing. In fact, it is really good. I know I made everything the way it is between us... sometimes I don't understand what is going on though. I love him. Simple or as complicated as that.
I've been trying to eat more... it is really hard though. When I eat, I binge and it is awful. With Miguel last night, he had his hand on one of my shoulders. He was gently caressing me. I wondered if perhaps he was feeling the bones beneath my skin. This is so difficult.
Work is a good distraction.
Not too much is going on. I'm feeling bland and a bit irritable. I have no idea what to do with my life right now. I have bene reading more, once again. Katie gave me a book to read to supposedly "put me in a good mood". It was cute, but not a book I would have picked out for myself. It made me feel fine, but fat as well. A book I did pick out, was one with some short stories by Mary Gaitskill. I'm in love with her work. It is all very realistic all though I cannot relate to the situations. Instead, I relate to their emotions, wants and desires. Books are a good way to lose oneself.