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ashley (bladingangel) wrote,
@ 2003-07-15 14:35:00
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    Current mood: depressed

    it sucks
    I hate this so much I hate my life I hate being stuck in this hell hole with no where to go but down I hate my mom and I really hate my dad I think they used to be nice before my dad got sick but I cant really remember all I know is that they are both stressed out and miserable and poor and if theyre miserable they want me to be too, they make me be miserable too. They always say yes to get my hopes up and then they find any fucking stupid reason to say no and everytime I hope for something I get punched in the face by dissapointment I really never wanted to be one of those people that hated to hope and always expected dissapointment but that’s what theyre making me become Kevin is my only friend hes the only person I want to be with the only person I actually enjoy life with and they forbid me to see him as if he’s evil and he’ll corrupt me but they don’t realize that theyre the ones corrupting me and I hate them I want to leave and go far away and never come back I wish they knew how much theyre making me hate them I don’t understand why theyre so ignorant and stupid and I hate them I don’t understand why, why wont they be normal and fun I wish I could go hurt myself so they knew what they were doing to me and so they would stop I just want them to stop and be nice but no theyre always so stressed out all the time always screaming and complaining and screaming they make me not want to live anymore do they realize theyre making me not want to live anymore? I guess not because they keep fucking depressing me and I hate it and I want it to stop I need it to stop I cant wait until I can leave I want to leave more then anything I want to not hate life but I cant because I’m stuck here I just want to cry all the time I’m constantly fighting back tears and I hate it.

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