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Ka-Ka-Ka-Kaaate! (blackmarketpoet) wrote,
@ 2005-12-18 13:36:00
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    I fell today. Not in a physical sense, because that would be easy to recover from; just pad the bruises and clean the scrapes. But how do you mend a knife through the heart or a broken dream? You can’t. Society has taught us that the heart is the center of human emotion, where in all reality it’s just an organ that pumps blood through our veins. The heart is just a muscle, it can’t feel, it can’t think, it can’t love. Love. In my opinion, the worst of the “four letter words”. Never has any word caused so much pain as ‘love’. Is it really possible to ever really be in love with someone? Or do we just lull ourselves into a false sense of security with someone we feel comfortable with and in turn that becomes love. I don’t think any human is really capable of true love. Love involves complete trust, of which no one person has for another. No matter how much you may think you trust someone, you probably don’t. I believe that most people don’t even trust themselves so it’s rightly assumed that they can not possibly trust someone else. Every human being is full of insecurities and doubts; from should I get this haircut to what happens when we die. Death is as simple or complex as you want to make it. Either we just die and our bodies are given back to the earth and that’s the end of it, or our bodies are just shells for our souls that continue on to another life, or heaven, or hell. It’s very hard to believe in something that is not concrete, that you can’t see, that you can’t touch. How can you live your life on faith alone? I can not see God, I can not talk to him, I can not feel him. So how do I know he is there? I’m supposed to just believe that he is, that he is all around me, guiding me through my life decisions. Religion is just another ploy to get the human race to fear disobedience and disorder to ensure we stay in line and follow all the rules. Religion has destroyed countries, families, and killed millions. At the same time, it has built countries and brought families together. I do not consider myself to be any one religion, I suppose maybe that classifies me as an atheist, but I really don’t think that is true either. There are times when I really do think there is someone watching over me and there are other times when I don’t believe in anything because how could any God or any higher power be so cruel. I don’t think I’ll ever have one set of beliefs because it’s one of those things where no matter how hard I think about it I never come to one conclusion. My mind is open to all beliefs and people. Sometimes I just sit in the middle of someplace busy and watch people. People walking, people talking to one another, people interacting. It’s interesting how people react to each other. No matter how open minded you may say you are, we all carry around our own biases. I am the first to admit it. It’s never done on purpose, but if you’re in the middle of a city and you see a large group of large men, are you going to avoid them or lock your doors as you drive past? Probably. You judge every person you meet without even realizing it. When you meet someone you never look at them as ‘this is just a person’. You immediately go through the checklist of ‘do I think this person is attractive’, ‘can I trust this person’, etc. I think that we miss out on many opportunities daily to meet another wonderful human being because of our false impressions. Life, love, death, trust, honesty, pain and happiness are all subjective. Every person will have a different definition. I guess that’s what makes us human after all.

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