| Current mood: |  blank |
| Current music: | blink 182: adams song |
memories
today is the type of day you save for memories.
not just any memories, the ones that hurt
its raining today, i had a few friends over yesterday.
im tired, tired of friends, and it rained today
memories
that is why i am here, my journal
all i ever put in here are sad memories
thats probably why i havent been here in awhile
things have been going good lately
i have a couple friends, i still listen to my emo music, but i dont look at it the same
i dont look for reasons to be depressed
i just live in my life
the life that part of me is creating
the part that i thought was a mask, the part i thought was just a act i put on for people, so they wouldnt know; what i am, who i am, that thing i used to be
but now, that part has taken over my life
i dont cut anymore
except today, but thats what days like today are saved for, right?
o ya, by the way, its winter now,
hence the rain
i kept saying i would end my life when winter came, but i didnt expect what happened to have happened
so, i guess im cured
if thats what you want to call it
but, all this is not what i wanted to talk about
i remember me, the way i used to be
too ignorant to know about life
i used to be depressed because i didint like the thought of feeling any way else
i wish i could live back then, everything was pure, hate, love, every emotion came in waves
i used to sit in my room, in the middle of the floor, window open, stareing at the celling
all my friends would call, they would ask what i was doing, they would ask if i was ok
people cared more back then
i was 13 when it started
im 17 now
*sigh*
it seemes like so long
and yet not long enough
i dont know whats going to happen now,
i dont know if im ready to start living a normal life
i dont know if im ready to grow up
inside im still a little kid, afraid of the world and afraid of life
i dont know if i want to leave being that boy, sitting in his room, passing the time alone ...........
(Read comments)
|
