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bl0ndef00l (bl0ndef00l) wrote,
@ 2004-08-20 15:28:00
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    Current mood: lethargic

    here I am.
    So this is where I am at now. It's friday, and school got out an hour ago. I still feel like shit. The guy I thought I would end up liking hasn't even called me. I guess it shows you how much he likes me. That kinda crap can really make someone feel like shit. I feel as if I am not good enough. And I keep wondering, what will happen tongiht? Will he ever call me again? Is he just too busy? Well I can say once and for all that I don't need to put myself through all of this. So what. I won't be the girl who is desperate. I will just let it gow with the flow. Once he sees me again, things might change. But change is change. It keeps evolving and never stops. So I wonder if I will ever get to the point of change when I feel like it's ok. When I feel happy about my body. When I finally learn how to love myself.

    I was looking at these pictures of when I was anorexic...




    it looks like I don't have a face, like the one I have now. It looks like there is no life in me.

    So I guess maybe it is ok to be me. maybe.



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