Its been a long day. Not that I've done much, its just that sitting in the hospital all day makes my body ache...I need to be outside walking around *instant twinge of guilt* Ugh...there I go thinking of myself again. Laura is asleep...she sleeps most of the day and she doesnt talk much when she is awake...she seems so...well, vacant. Its like even though she is alive her vitality has been sucked out of her.
Sitting here also gives me too much time to think. I've been thinking about the person I always thought I would be and the person I actually am. I hate my life, but at the same time by doing nothing about it, I sort of choose it. You know how when you are younger you always feel that you are destined for greatness, although very few of us actually are. Some of us are fortunate enough to realize this early on, while the rest of us end up like me..in our mid 20's and up still chasing after childhood fantasiies, when, if we had realized it as teenagers we could have done something usefull with our lives. BLAH...its not healthy for me when I think too much. I need to go watch TV and let it think for me...lol