|Current mood:||anxious, angry, anticipatory|
|Current music:||Tool-Part of Me (that's right folks, I'm OGT)|
Hey big fella, how's it hangin?
Anyway, today went much like the past few days have. I've been battling arthritis, and the last five days being rainy and colder than normal have had a real adverse effect on my body. I'm hurting constantly, and the only time I'm not is when I'm talking to Jess. Unfortunately Jess doesn't want to talk to me right now, she doesn't feel like talking to anyone, so I'm just going to let her be by herself for a while. I'm scared...I really really don't want to lose her. I can lose everything else I've ever had or ever will have, but I've got to have Jess. I'm meant to be with her, and all these obstacles are trying to break the bond we have but i'm not going to let it. I love her with all my heart. She's all I think about, all I dream about, all I really care about. I'm going to marry her, I don't care when or where, but I'm going to...I'm going to spend my life with Jess.
Speaking of obstacles, a friend of hers named Andy called her cell today. Jess didn't hear the phone ring, and Andy got voicemail and left a rather vulgar message. It's a shame the depths that miserable toe rags, the pawns of the universe....the western pariah, will sink when left to their own devices. Andy has always been an antagonist to me. He's always been a thorn in my side, and I forsee that he will be for the future or what can be forseen of it. Hopefully he'll find a shining object to cast his gaze upon for a while and leave me and Jess alone.
The only two people that can keep me and Jess together are me and Jess, on the other end of the spectrum the only two people that can break Jess and I up are Jess and I. We've been through so much together so far. The last 10 months have been the most difficult of both of our lives, and I for one can say that I wouldn't have the slightest chance of living through them without my Jess. Jess is really all I've got in this world, but she's all I need. I can be having the absolute worst day, but still be the luckiest man in the world because I've got Jess's love...she, to me, is the most beautiful girl in the world. Inside and out. I'm her Sean, and my heart will always belong to her. I'll be back in a little bit, I think I'm going to call Jess..or atleast try to.