I'm back home now. Heh. For a while 'til we gotta jet over to the UK an' do the tour then tour again wi' Mest this fall. I missed Brody for the ohhhh - three days or so I was gone. I walked in this mornin' prolly 'round 7. Brody was was still asleep an' I didn't wanna go in an' wake her up even though all I wanted to do was crawl into bed an' hold her, so I went into Nathan's room. He woke up the moment I walked in an' I thought for sure he was gonna start cryin' or somethin'. Amazingly, he smiled at me. HAHA. It's always nice to walk into the home an' be greeted by an innocent smile of your kid.
I picked him up an' changed him before goin' downstairs an' feedin' him his bottle. He's at the age now where he can hold the bottle all by himself so I sat on the couch wi' Nathan layin' in my arms an' drinkin' his milk. Funny thing is, I wasn't even watchin' TV, I sat there starin' down at Nathan an' watched him devour his breakfast. I felt this urge to go outside so I walked out onto the beach wi' him after changin' him into some regular clothes. My kid pimps his MADE clothes.
I sat down on the sand wi' him an' held him there on my lap wi' his back to my chest, watchin' the waves roll in an' out an' this wave of peace juss stole over me. I never fail to feel that sereneness everytime I'm wi' Brody or Nathan. I'm happiest at home wi' them. Actually, I'm my happiest anywhere wi' them so it does kinda suck tha' I gotta travel the world without 'em. The only thing that keeps me movin' on an' movin' on is the thought that I'll be comin' home to them at the very end of it all. Tha' I'll walk through the doors of the house an' be greeted wi' a hug an' kiss from my wife or just a smile from my son. I love havin' a family. It's the most positive thing in my life. My family's the fuckin' best, I ain't exaggeratin' that. Why my dad got sick of his own family, I'll never fuckin' get it. I'm always tryin' to figure it out an' I guess I should stop cause there just ain't no point in it. My dad did what he had to do an' even though I'll never understand it, it was his decision. But I know I could never do that. I don't have it in me to juss up an' walk out on my family. It's juss... it's wrong.
I love you, Brody. :)
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