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Aileen (beansprout) wrote,
@ 2003-10-26 09:49:00
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    Current mood: confused
    Current music:A Hard Days Night/Beatles

    My bologna has a last name it's M-E-Y-E-R
    This past week has been crazy. A thousand different things are happening all at once sending my mind and body into a whirlwind. But I think I kinda like it.

    Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? I never really did, but now I am sure of it. Everything is falling into place, finally.

    All of September and most of October I'd come to realize that I'm truly happy. I like things how they are, and I wouldn't change them for the world. The past week and a half, I haven't been so sure......and wouldn't you know it it's all because of a boy.

    Read more about him here


    We met at a house party 2 weeks ago. A friend of his introduced us saying we had a ton in common and could end up great friends. He's on the soccer team here at Berkeley. We started talking, and he's the only person I've ever met that's as obsessed as me about the game. Bored at the party, the two of us ended up going for a walk. Four hours later we were still walking and talking. It's crazy. He played ODP, so we bonded over memories, we've played in a lot of the same tournaments, we like the same Premier League Teams, agree on coaching styles...just everything. I seriously could not believe that we had been walking for four hours. He was so sweet too, even though Berkeley is a totally safe campus, he insisted on walking me back to my dorm, giving me his coat b/c it was chilly.

    We ended up talking on the phone a few times after that, but with both our busy schedules, it really hadn't been much. So I was a little surprised when on Thursday night he called me and asked if I wanted to hang out with him after his game Friday. I had a great time with him last time so I figured why not.

    I went to their game which they won :) That started the date off well. It wasn't anything incredible...just some pizza and an arcade....but it felt incredible. It's been a couple days, and I still have that feeling. Which leads me to my problem...

    I'm falling for him. But I don't know if I want to. He seemed to have had as great a time as me...he called yesterday. I'm going to his game vs. UCLA today at 2. I don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship with someone though. I'm still hesitant and scared with that stuff. Plus not even 2 1/2 weeks ago I was saying I was truly happy with my life and I wouldn't change anything...but now I'm going to go change all that? In some ways I really want to, and in others I don't.

    Since I can't figure this thing out, I called Meagan last night to get her opinion. She thinks I should go for it. I agree with her that the only reason I wouldn't is because of fear, and that's no way to live. But the taste of giving yourself completely to someone and then being dumped is so fresh in my mouth...even after 2 years.

    But ok, so everyone, meet Pieter....

    Doesn't he have the prettiest eyes?

    Sorry this was so long, I'm just trying to figure things out.



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