| Current mood: |  guilty |
| Current music: | Lucy Woodward - While You Can |
*Runs her hands through her hair, which wasn't as blonde as it once was it had begun to lose it's lusture and she had decided to just let it go on an be a dirty blonde-almost-light brown color. Her hues of hazel danced about the room for a moment as she let out an audiable sigh, clearly feeling distraught, lonely, and unbelievably still guilty over the incident that happened over a couple of weeks ago. She tugged lightly on the bottom of her powder blue tank top smoothing it out as she ran one of her hands down the leg of the black leather pants that clung to her body much like the dark slayer's do. After a moment or two of more silence in the confines of her room upstairs, she finally gave up decided to retreat to her good ol' trusty journal for a little comfort and a chance to finally get some kind of closure on the things that were troubling her mind a great deal as of late*
I've been avoiding this for a while, I know. And to be honest I'd avoid it a whole lot longer too but I guess I should do this now.
Things have been all awkward lately. Dawn and Xander have been having ... problems. I don't know what happened, but from what I saw recently in these things it involved Andrew. This kind of reminds me of what happened between the four of us not but a couple of weeks ago.
If you don't know what happened, oh well. I don't want to bring it up in my journal right now. Want to really know? Ask me. I'll tell you. Otherwise it's none of your business, or whatever. *oh so hostile right now*
I think I sound hostile. If I do, I think it's because I am. I can't seem to shake the feeling that even if he said he forgave me that he really can't. I don't know, maybe he really did forgive me but I can't accept it. But it's doubtful. I hurt him with what I did. And I know it. That's why I didn't want to tell anyone. And why the Bot is on it's last chance because I swear I'm scrapping it.
Enough of me feeling sorry for myself. I told myself I would stop doing that now. And ... here I am, all guilty. Slaying doesn't help either. I can't be in a cemetary without ... *trails off ... thinking about what happened in the cemetary while they were in their past!selves, vividly. COUGHS!! O_O* ... feeling really guilty. And that doesn't help me get any vamps and demons slayed, at all.
My `normal girl` job doesn't help me either. I was lucky that my past!self didn't get me fired from my job. I know she tried to start something with Angel, which luckily he knew it wasn't really me and nothing happened and there was no reappearance of Angelus. Because that would have been bad. A lovelorn!me and a psycho!faith running around with Angelus on the loose? That would have ended up with someone dying. *pauses a moment `;/` facing as she started feeling bad with how she and her came back to the future, no pun intended - with her stabbing her in the stomach, déja vu..* Which us coming back with me stabbing her in the stomach wasn't fun either ... but at least this time Faith wasn't stuck in a coma for months.
Anyway, I'm done. Wills, wanna hang? ;/
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