| Current mood: |  drained |
| Current music: | nothing |
john wayne movies get me through the day
yeah pablo you are awesome. i think i'm hurling into a mild depression. i've been getting real sad and unhappy in spurts recently. i'm just angry at my life. it's like i'm not allowed to be a teenager until i'm 18 and then i only have 2 more years left. i got grounded for getting a ride home from school. yeah ridiculous right. i hate my bus, it's boring and all the people on it just brag about who they;ve fucked or what drugs they've done. it's like whatever you did that shit your a rebel without a cause hot damn...who cares. i'm not allowed to drive with anyone that hasn't been driving for a year. so i was like hey phil you owe jess a dairyqueen let's go, and he was like ok cool. he's been driving for a year and i drove with him at homecoming as well so i thought well i'll just call my rents and say hey is it cool if i do this. so we went to his house which is right next to the school to use his phone and my dad was like obviously pissed but he said go ahead. i get home and he tells me i'm grounded cuz i'm not allowed to do stuff like that. i was only home maybe half and hour later than i would have been if i rode the bus. then my mom comes home from my grandparents house(she's there almost everyday, all day, so it's like i don't really have a mom other than a few hours before i go to sleep)and says i'm grounded for 2 weeks. even my dad said that's over done but hey he's whipped so he'll do anything my mom says so that he doesn't get yelled at. that pisses me off about him, it's like he seems awesome and on your side but he won't go against my psychotic mother cuz he doesn't want her to flip on him. she has to have someone on her side or she freaks out and thinks everyones against her. i hate it. i've even been told by them that i'm not allowed to make my own mistakes until i'm 18 cuz then i'm responsible for myself. i mean jesus christ, i keep up my grades(i just got honor roll) i never get in trouble at school, and i help out at home cuz my mom isn't home alot. i even take off school to stay with my sister(she's handicapped) if noone else can be there. my mom actually wanted to make me only be able to do one thing per weekend. she threatens that on various occasions when she thinks i'm planning things without getting her approval. but you have to find out if something is ok to do before you ask your rents if you can do it. i'm not gonna go ask my rents , hey can i got to jess;s this weekend, before i even know what jess is doing or if her rents say it's ok. thats just stupid. they just don't get it. i want to go out and have a semi non boring/sheltered life. they're excuse is that they want me to be alive for when i turn 17, 18 and so on. but if i'm not supposed to be alive then it's not really their decision anyway, only one person has control over a person's life. they say i'm not supposed to blame them if i go to college and don't know what to do withmyself because of all the newfound freedom. but they blame parents for the outcomes of giving their kids freedom now. i don't think i'm a bad person, they say that they don't think i am either. but i don't feel like they trust me enough to make any kind of decision for myself. they say you'll have plenty of time to make your own mistakes. how do they know that. i could on my first day of college without them get hit by a car just walking down the street. going back to my first complaint. my dad was the one when he was 16 to drive people around, his other friend hada licence too and it didn't seem to be a problem to drive with him. my mom was a badass, going around doing who knows what. she says it was cuz her rents didnt care about her. how can you blame your rents for something that you did and tell me that i can't blame them if i go do crazy stuff when i get my first taste of freedom? it's fucking ridiculous. if i had a little more allowance to do some simple things maybe i wouldn't have to waste you the person who's reading this things time. or atleast maybe my entries would be more interesting.
(Read comments)
|
