Avalanche (avalanche) wrote, @ 2003-03-13 12:40:00

Hell down through the trees
I've been here before
Yes, it's true
I have I have
Almost in this exact spot
With almost the exact same set of circumstance
The one thing missing from this scenario is the love
The love that made me blind to the truth, to the reality
And opened the door to the fantasy, the longing
The rushing emotion that was so intense
It threathened to overpower me

I don't love like that anymore

I don't even know if I am capable of loving someone that deserves it
My interest gets twisted up on the ones that could care less about me
The self-serving assholes
The ones that don't care wheither I stay or if I go

Enscounced in sound
Lost in the corridors of my mind
Revisting places I haven't been in months
I missed the strange comfort of my emotional distress
Where Orion's belt was shining first and foremost
In my October sky
Misery slithered around my ankles like a rejected housepet
I felt alive and vibrant in my confusion
Him
Sitting like the King I had made him
On his throne positioned just so for maximum auditory supremecy
Speaking in tongues
Telling me his stories
Me, absorbing them
Like I was born to transpose his disaster

NO, you don't understand
I loved him
No, perhaps I don't understand,
I love him still

But now I have made my bed
And I will lie in it

There is nothing joyous about this

I am not affraid
In fact, I have little emotion invested in this
I am dead to any feelings
I don't want this
But the vehicle has already started it's journey down the embankment
And I am affraid that there are no brakes
Or any breaks for that matter
Certainly my heart isn't breaking
My heart feels nothing at all

And I have all this power
But I am affraid to weild it

What to do??
What to do??

The baby Jesus loves the company

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