Button (autygirl) wrote, @ 2009-11-01 01:13:00

Current mood:	blah
Current music:	Wicker Chair - Kings of Leon

It's Halloween. I have liquor (& soda), i have weed, i have cash, i have cigarettes. I had an alright day today. But i'm alone.

I have no company. I thought i was with Joey and Kyle for the night... but i think i'm just getting old I've been noticeing a lot of that lately. Thinking i was set for the night.. A bit more chillin.. Maybe sex.. Then sleep time. Then Joey says "So.. What do you want to do tonight?" And i know he's going out lol.

One day, i plan to be over him. Today.. And yesterday.. And the day before.. Wasn't the day.

He's so fucking sexy.. i have a hard time acting normal in front of guests because of it.

Lol.. I don't think it's the case.. but i thought it was noteworthy.. Maybe i'm just acting funny tonight.. Cause the guest was Kyle. i always act funny.. but still.. omg.. he's so fucking strong. i have to shut up. i wanna fuck joey tonight.





I've been thinking lately.. And i think that if i could call Joey "mine".. And know it was true.. I'd actually be happy. I am happy with him. And i believe he's happy with me.. Then "man" takes over. I'm not the best trophy to show off. I'm a tiny, honest, easy-going, independant, hard workin', smokin', drinkin', redneck at heart. Also, i think that even the things that most men find attractive about that.. May be problems with me. I work a lot.. and i don't fix my appearance forEVER. Also, along with independance.. comes pride (in my situation). Makes me seem like an idiot sometimes.

Also, just for the record.. I drink like a sailor. And i get some sort of internal happiness that i can't explain when i get real shitfaced and fuck up my life. Well.. not happiness.. just humor. I mean.. sometimes i can drink all night.. and feel fine. But there are times that i want to get shit faced.. and have a retarded story to tell.. and i do. if i want to.. i just do it

I smell like pumpkin.

"You laugh at nothing in the pouring rain..
You try to tell yourself your not insane."

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