The small silence of walking down pavement street.
My street. Our street.
The little echo of footsteps, and quick chattering voices of her day, something wrong happened but I cant remember.
Fresh dark nail polish, jeans, and a snug black hoodie.
Just needing to walk. Just needing to talk.
Passing the first stop sign. The sun setting everything in soft glow light. Just walk besides her. Listen. Reply.
It was like a dream really.
Find our way to the old school. Just us, all alone.
No sign of another breathing person.
We got to the second stop sign, the school to our back.
"Want to go sit on the bench?"
Un certainty. Un sure. But we did.
Sitting on the soft colored blue bench. My knees pulled up to my chest, she sat her legs spread out on the top lying her hands behind her looking straight over at that stop sign. Something in her eyes and all was quiet.
"Lets just continue to walk down that street, pass all the stop signs..."
"...and never look back..."
She turned to me. Dead serious. Some need in her eyes, some spark at the 'never' of what I had added to her idea.
"Lets just fucking too do! Come on Ash. We can get away from here. I hate it here. Its hell..."
"You know I want too, need to...but we cant. Not now, what about money, a plan not to get caught?"
"It does not matter. We can get money, somehow. I know we will, lets just go!"
The determination in her voice. She would do too and not look back.
She wanted me too come. She would not do it alone. She would leave me here. ALone...
And I would have done it along with her if my stupid sense of logic had not overcome me.
"We cant, we just cant...I want to just walk right on out of here, leave them all behind but i'm scared..."
"Dont be scared. We'll take care of each other. I'll take of you Ash...I promise..."
Tears went into my eyes and streamed down my face. Hers still refused to fall but they were still there.
We both had the hunger to go, the eagerness to try and escape the pain. Running seemed the only way out at the time. The scars still almost fresh on my wrist. I traced them under my sweatshirt with my other finger.
It ached my body so much too not just get up take her arm and link it in mine and hop the chain link school fence, run to that stop sign, run right past it in a final blur, and down the street and keep running intill we could not anymore. And not look back. Never to regret it.
This was my only small moment of full perfection.
With the setting sun and it already getting dark, masking everything in more silence and shadowed stillness.
Whispering how much we wanted to leave, me convincing her to stay, or wait. Not too go. That quick flash of 30 pure minutes of mental chaos and the chance to run away.
We did end up walking...but the other way...
For just that once...everything was perfect.
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