| Current mood: |  moody |
I don't think I could be happier than I am at the moment. And just when I think I'm about ready to take that next step, I freeze.
Remembering what happened the last time, I don't know if I could go through that again. I have no doubts that Andy cares about me and doesn't want to hurt me, but sometimes, things like that can't be helped. You fall for someone, you get scared, whatever the reason - and you run. I know this is a risk everyone takes at one time or another - the greater the risk, the greater the reward.
What is the next step? It's a big one. It's one of those where you put yourself on the line in order to achieve the bigger dream. I couldn't even tell him I was attracted to him when I worked with him before and even now, when I look at him? I get the nervous butterflies. Will he wake up and think I'm a big joke? Will he just turn over, look at me and ask himself what the hell he's doing with me?
I don't know the answers to those questions, I'm not Andy. But I do know that my feelings for him have been quite strong for years and I refuse to give him up without any sort of fight. He deserves to know how I feel, how much I love him.
I bet he doesn't know this, but after I left Australia, I wrote this song. It's included on the current album. I'm not sure if he's aware that he was the inspiration for this song.
So, here is some of it if you've never heard it before. I assumed it was pretty obvious.
It’s like you live in these walls
I hear your voice down the hall
I swear I see your face it’s everywhere, its every place
I starve myself past the pain
Still it won’t go away
The more I try to forget, I remember
Oh every minute’s like a thousand years
Since you were lying here
In the middle of the night
I turn on the light
To desperate to breathe
Cause I get this craving
There’s no time to waste
Gotta get a taste
Satisfy my needs
Baby, won’t you save me?
Got this craving to lose myself in you
when we’re standing in the rain
to keeping you awake through the night
I hunger for your touch
Cause I need you back
What’s wrong with that?
No I can’t be without you no more
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