| Current mood: |  indescribable |
| Current music: | *sweetest sin* - some other rather pointless songs |
-+-Confused-+-
I'm bored as heck right now - sleepy too - but can't go to sleep. I've got a lot on my mind.
I'm kinda sad right now just thinkin' about some things. One thing is that here shortly, work will be ending for me (for a short while that is). We're gettin' ready to close - our last day is the 19th (Dec.). Not much longer, and ya know, here for the past few months I've been literally countin' down the days, contemplatin' if I should quit or what. Long story there, another time. But, here the past while me and Ash have become really close and hang out a lot. She's a great friend. Lord, I don't know what I'd do without her sometimes. She helped me in the past with certain issues and such, especially when me and Tim were apart. No other friend (that I've had/have now) has done the things she's done for me or just been there when I needed her. We can go and hang out and stuff and have loads of fun, talk about anythin', and I can be ME, and we can talk about anything. Work has become a lot better now. I'm goin' over to her house tomorrow and I think we'll go to Pikeville and hang out with the gang down there and then probably go to down into to Elkhorn Wednesday. Shew, I can't wait to get out of here and get everythin off of my mind for awhile. Then Saturday, me, her and Jackie are workin' over in the C.C. all day and night, we probably won't get off work 'til about 2 or so, in the a.m. -- shew, that's really gonna blow. But, with them I think we'll make it. Me and Ash are goin to stay with Jackie that night, since we'll be gettin' outta there so late and we all have to work the next day.
All I can say is that really I'm gonna miss the place and all the girls too, especially Ash and Jackie. I mean, yea we'll keep in touch and get together when we can, but it won't be the same, not bein' able to work with 'em and see 'em everyday. They've kept me sane here lately. I might end up goin' back when they reopen. It all depends on if I haven't gotten another job by then. I wish I lived over there, because that's where all my friends are. Plus a lot more places to work, too. Me and Ash have been thinkin' about rentin' out this place in Elkhorn though, then there's one in the Breaks about 10 minutes from the park and close to where she lives now. But, it all depends. I'd love to though, it would be awesome. I have nothing for this stupid place over here. If I go anywhere away from the house, I'm either at Clinchco (sis's), Haysi, Elkhorn, Pikeville, Grundy or at JC. Those are the places, my places. Not stupid Dickenson County, clintwood or those such places. I only go the other way when I absolutely have to. I mean the majority of my friends are from Haysi, the others from Grundy on down. I've been prayin and talkin' to mom and dad alot lately. I have a good feelin' it will all work out and that I'll finally get away from here. I'll miss mom, dad, sis, Lisa and Zach. But, I'll always come back for the weekends and such to see 'em.
Well, me and Tim aren't soo great anymore. Funny how in such a short time, really, things go so wrong, when you think that everything is back to "normal". Hmmm-- what's normal anyway? I don't know - maybe it's not meant to be and that I made a mistake goin' back. I don' t honestly know. Maybe we're goin' through another one of our "phases". Hard to really say at this point. I love him to death, he's a great person, has treated me pretty good for the most part, and has become one of the best friends I could ever have. But, something just don't seem right, feels like something is missin' sometimes. Or like something's changed, that we just can't see right now. I know he feels it too, we've not really talked about it yet, because, how can you talk about something when you really dont even know what it exactly is. But, I can just tell. Only time will tell. I have more to say on that, but I just looked at the clock and I see I need to be in bed. I'm soo tired and I have to get up early and get ready, then meet Ash over at the Park at 11:30 in the morning. I'll have to finish this when I have some time too. Which with the way it's been goin' now and I've been so busy, could be another couple of months down the road, and things could be worse, better, changed totally, or not at all. We shall soon see.
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