At least I saw it coming this time, heh.
It would be a lie to sit here and say, "well, this is just another mountain to scale, and I'll feel much better when it's behind me." Because it's not just another mountain. How many mountains like this have I scaled before, and come away with only a few scars? Too many. And there are an infinite amount of mountains still ahead of me. I'm just too lost in hope, naivety, to see them. Eventually the scars will cover my entire body, and then what will I be? A horribly disfigured mess of a person. I can't do this anymore. The only thing I can liken this to is torture.
You know, I say this is like torture, and I can't do it anymore, blah blah blah, in EVERY SINGLE ONE of these cryptic, stupid posts.
That's it. I'm taking a shotgun to these feelings. They've never died because I haven't let them die. They haven't died because I've never wanted them to die. But they're going to die now. I'm going to actually step up to the plate and be a good friend. She deserves it, dammit.