so nothing really to talk about, but i dont really have anything better to do to be honest. In a way, i miss how much i used to write because, after awhile of doing so, it helped me to become a much better writer. even tom the genius said i was pretty good at it. so my goal, for now anyway, is to write more, so i can stop sounding incompetent when i speak. also i do word of the day now :) i have failed to use any of them though. so yesterday was warped tour. not much to tell. i insulted rick and isreal simultaneously. i felt kind of bad because not long after, i watched them play, and they did a fantastic job. i wanted to find rick and say something to the effect of "sorry for talking shit on your ep, you guys did an amazing job today and you didnt deserve that." but ryan was the only one i saw, and he coincidently was the only one i didnt insult. so while im debating with rick and isreal chris walks up. we say hi he gives me a hug. i dont think he really wanted to be talking to be. i kept looking around because its really hard for me to be around him. he didnt look very good. it was down there with the time i saw him at csuf when sara and i ditched to see days away play there. but with him i dont know actually how much of the attraction was looks. i think the first time or however many times i saw him before he cut his hair was attraction, then after that it was just the idea of what he looked like the first time i met him and who i had built him up to be during our late night internet talks. he seemed so perfect, i knew all along he wasnt but i had yet to find a fatal flaw. although i still havent found anything wrong with him, hes just not the idol i had built him up to be. no one could live up to that. hes still a good guy, but not for me. looks wise- hes not my type. marlon is more my type. wow, i cannot get over him. thats so bad though. im going to do it again. chris thinks im a stalker freak, so does david. i dont want to ruin all my chances with marlon this early on. i need to calm down. next time i talk to him im going to try and be real, and forget abt flirting. and be honest like, "look, i dont know how to talk to you" i know thats nothing thats going to make him go oh baby i want you now, but at the same time, it might make things easier, if he knows im not exactly what i seem. i dont even know if that makes sense. but i dont want him to think im cooler than i actually am, because if he ever does get to know me, he will be disappointed to find out im actually a dork. okay wayyyyy too much marlon talk. this is bad. hes not cute, when he got all entergetic the other night for .5 seconds, not the cutest thing i had ever seen. okay so back to chris and yesterday. so he was wearing this black trucker-ish hat that had a pink surf dive logo on it. i couldnt help but laugh. he offered me sunscreen. hes such a dork, its so funny. so we watched them, i dont think he wants anything to do with me. it shoudl bother me, but it is kind of humerous. so we watched the end of the ataris, sum 41, simple plan, the used, melee, plain white t's and part of rufio. and you know what... all of the bands that are played on radio or mtv put on pathetic shows. k so i just came off of away message to talk to brian, and david is on. im thinking about iming him, but i dont know if it is the best idea. i think he hates me. haha i kind of think its funny. maybe i should do it jsut to be annoying, cuz he already doesnt like me, without a good reason mind you. and i dont like him either. aaww what the hell. ive perfected the art at being a pain in the ass with chris, why not work on it a little bit more. haha so i did. and he never said anything. okay just as i typed that, guess whos box popped up. okay my life is so wierd. so as i type that the box pops up and hes like i dont know who this is but thanx. and then i tell him, he spells my name wrong again. then right. then i make fun, we talk a little, then hes like im going somewhere with my friends, but are you going to shows anytime soon? yours or in general? in general. i say everybody else at the troubador and he said he might want to come or something to flyer for the coach house show. and he says to call him? what? he was so nice. wired. i have a lot more to say. but im kind of stuned. ill finish later.
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