| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Silence deafening me til my ears bleed.... |
who cares......
I've succeeded in not only spiraling my life down the drain but other people's as well. Why is it when the last thing I want to do is hurt someone, I end up doing just that. It's a rare occurance but even that often is too often for me. Maybe if my head was on straight and I listened to my intuition a little better I wouldn't be in half of the predicaments I find myself in.......
So, where to go from here? I haven't a clue but I have been just throwing myself into working and writing to avoid the depression and the guilt. For someone with such potential, I sure don't get very far. I guess that is what happens when you lack motivation. I need a release......
I sit and preach about all the things I stand for and the things I beleive in...morals.....values......standards....and yet I did not live up to them myself. Hypocritical, which in my eyes is one of the worst things to be. I always say follow your heart but this time I didn't. My intuition fell unto deaf ears.....
With all that said, I'm going to attempt to numb my pain until it is unbearable and I have no choice but to take action........
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