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amanda (apsumthin) wrote,
@ 2002-12-03 21:18:00
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    Current mood: numb
    Current music:musiq 'don't change'

    yet anotha jaw-droppin day
    today was like a rerun of yesterday. we n lmp tried to avoid jeremy cuz he was bein hecka annoyin as usual. well we all went to chris' locka n it was all gravy. i avoided chris enough to da point where he didn't have da chance to kiss me but enough so it didn't look like i was avoidin him. yet again it was b4 4th period n he kissed me. 4x's tho instead of 2. i was almost late to class. i didn't know wut to do. i knew it was comin but i was tryin to block it outta my mind like it wasn't gonna happen. afterschool i had to round up da crew cuz we had to bizounce like asap to get out ahead of da traffic n get tammy to pine crest b4 2:15. well i got her there bouts 2 so it was all gravy. slide a bit on da ice but i think dat was just cuz i was goin 50 in a 25. awh well. wut ya gonna do. well after i took tammy to da apartments, i took chris home. we was drivin for like it seemed eva but we got there. they need to up dem 25 mph signs i'm tellin ya. ain't doin no justice. by time we got to chris', his bus was there lol. jeremy was walkin to his apartment n so was shawn, chris' bro. i pulled in da parkin lot n chris got out, came up to my door n opened it. he said i had to give him a hug b4 he left so i did n he kissed me again, like 3x's den kissed me more den a lil peck like usual. floored me to da seat. i was like *ummm*. i didn't know wut da hex to do. jeremy was staring like a mug n so was shawn. they didn't know wtf was up. truth is i didn't eitha. i was like stunned. da pecks i was uncomfortable wit but wut happened afterschool bout killed me. i paniced n didn't know wut to do so i kissed back like any natural reaction would b. wrong answa. i shouldn't have. man now i dun messed everythang up. i had to tell darrell so i emailed him dis huge long thang bouts it n he still hasn't been on his comp so he hasn't read it yet. it's his b-day tomorrow n i'm gonna feel so bad if i ruin it for him but i gotta be a dumba$$ n not stop chris from kissin me... wut do i do instead?! freeze up n my mind goes blank like *duh*. i dunno wut to do. my gurl d says i gotta tell him sooner than lata cuz he really likes me n da longer i let it go da worse it's gonna get. i don't want chris to fall for me. den it'll mess our friendship all up n i won't know wut to do wit myself. chris is my dude. i couldn't live witout him but i can't let this shizzle happen neitha cuz i love darrell. i gotsta do sumthin... so dats y i'm talkin to chris tomorrow. no backin down. i gotta tell him wuts goin on or i'll neva be able to live wit myself.

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