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Annica Lee Manson (annica_manson) wrote,
@ 2003-06-24 22:36:00
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    Current mood: worried
    Current music:The White Stripes

    I'm just a girl.
    |Annica turned from the window and it's rainy scene, strolling towards her bed. She flopped onto it, extended a thin arm to the floor, and lifted her laptop to her. Rolling onto her stomach, she positioned the machine in front of her and opened it. Soft digits rested on its keys, preparing to type the girl's thoughts. The amazing music of The White Stripes played quietly on her stereo. As she pieced everything together in her mind, her fingers began to fly.|

    I'm just a girl. An average 16 year old with an average life. |Pause.| I do what girls do, I like what girls like, I live like girls live. What else is there to say? Don't ask me, I'm just a girl.

    |Well, what now? She thought about how she had spent her day, and decided that that would be as good a place to start as any. Why not jump into her life? Why not plunge head-first into her daily rituals? After all, they say you don't know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes. Well, try 'em on for size, she thought, 'cause here goes nothing.|

    I ... don't want this thing to sound stupid. I don't want to sound like I'm shallow and have no thoughts of my own. I don't know what to say. But today, I woke up tired. I had plans for myself; plans to do laundry, lay out in the sun, and maybe straighten up my room a little bit. That's not quite how things turned out, though. I started the laundry and finished most of it throughout the day. Check. I put on my bikini underneath my clothes, but never got around to laying out. Maybe tomorrow? No check. I definately didn't get around to cleaning my room. It's still the messy dwelling of a teen-aged girl. No check.

    |She paused again, thinking about how the rest of her day progressed, and proceeded.|

    I went to the mall with my older sister Talena. She's not the best of influences. She didn't have a whole lot of money, and I have no job (thus, I'm broke). She wanted some shirts she'd seen there and needed a few good pairs of pants for work. So we stole them. And nearly got caught: a lady stopped me on my way out, asking if I'd been in the fitting room. "Yes," I said, and continued out the door. I waited in the car for Talena and, while I was waiting, an employee for the store came out and took down the license plate number. And I'm not quite sure why, but I'm a little scared. And I have to think about things: what if I'd just done what I'd plan to do all day (ie: clean my room, do chores, etc ... things that needed to be done)? I wouldn't have been put into this situation. I feel horribly stupid, now. However, I don't think Talena regrets it. I think she's satisfied with the things she (and I use this lightly) had to do to get what she wanted. Oh, if we get caught ...

    |Annica stopped typing and got off of her stomach, sitting 'Indian-style' now. She arched her back and rubbed her eyes, thinking about the possible consequences of her actions. What happened today ... that wasn't the kind of person she was. That wasn't the kind of person she wanted to be. She promised herself that she wouldn't be the kind of person that Talena was. Talena, a beautiful and talented woman, was not a very good choice-maker. Annica's older sister was the kind of girl that did what it took to satisfy her that instant. Annica and Talena were to very different people. The remembrence of this brought a frown to Annica's face. She frowned at the fact that she was conforming to her sister's life and not leading her own. A sigh escaped her soft, light lips. She pulled the laptop to her and began to type once more.|

    I have to stop thinking about it. I'll take the days as they come, the consequences as they're dealt. That is the end of it. |Pause.| I'll move on. Today was also kind of confusing. Yesterday, I found out that the academy I was interested in, Dover Academy, had stopped taking applications. I was a little disappointed. They'd reached a limit on how many students they were willing to admit. However, today I discovered that they had 18 positions available. I'm going to try to apply tomorrow. Wish me luck? Anyway, I'm going to take note of things I need to accomplish tomorrow. Things that will keep me from being another Talena and getting into trouble. |She paused again before going on.| P.S. Don't get me wrong. I love Talena. I learned a lot from her when we were young. She taught me a lot when she was still a dedicated young girl. I'm merely disappointed at the change she's gone through. I'm scared about her turning onto a path in her life that could lead her in a horrible direction that may result in difficult consequences. It's because I love her that I don't want this to happen. I'm simply a concerned sister.

    |Pressing the 'Enter' key a few times, those graceful fingers began to race over her keyboard again.|

    Now. On to my list for tomorrow:

    • Apply at Dover High

    • Do the dishes

    • Lay in the sun

    • (Attempt to) Clean my room

    • Play Spyro 2 on PlayStation*

    *I'm still a kid at heart. I'm just a girl.

    |Annica stopped typing. She placed her delicate hand on the computer mouse and updated her journal. When the laptop had completed the action, she closed it and placed it on the hardwood floor next to her bed. Lying on her back, she looked out the window of her room into the dark and cloudy sky ... subconsciously noting that the stars were out of sight. She listened to the rhythmitic slap of rain on her window pane and the ever-lovely tunes of The White Stripes until the familiar scape of her room grew blurry and, inevitably, turned black.|

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