| Current mood: |  sad |
| Current music: | "Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die", Brand New |
"I'll speak my mind whenever I feel slighted."
This week has been one hell of a week.
Emphasis on the word "hell". While I'm sure it wasn't as bad as the place, it was awful.
On Tuesday, I found out that Alex Lokey's best friend, Andrew (who was an acquaintance of mine), committed suicide over the weekend.
After school that day, Charlie told me at Young Greens Club that he wasn't ignoring me. Liar.
Then I went to St. Joe's.
I was diagnosed (well, told/diagnosed) with anorexia.
I'm 115.8 pounds now.
Wednesday, I went to Andrew's funeral.
I got a ride with these girls Jess and Sarah who I had just met. There were classmates of my friend Pat Mosley.
Emily and Ben, along with some guy named Adam, also came with me in Jess and Sarah's van.
The funeral chapel was packed, so a lot of people, including me, had to stand in the lobby outside the chapel. There were speakers so we could hear the memorial service.
There was a preacher, and a lot of people, including family members, Andrew's parents, and friends, including Alex and Siobhan, who spoke.
There were tears in my eyes, but I wasn't actually able to cry.
After the service, we went into the chapel and looked at the photo collages of Andrew over the years.
Then Emily, Ben, Adam, Jess, Sarah, and I went back to school for seventh period.
After school, I hung out with Wendy, Sam Kennedy, Jamie, and Alex (the dreadlocked Alex, not the other three) outside the Cedar lobby.
When I came home to take out Missy before Japanese class, Ms. Linda talked to me while I was walking Missy. She told me they found a bit of cancer in her ovaries again, and that she would have to go back to chemo on Tuesday.
Happy birthday to Linzy and Rae.
Today was a drag.
After school, I went to Anime Club and watched some Hellsing episodes, and then I hung out with John Russell, Fabius, Morgan, Maya, Jamie, and Alex (with dreadlocks) outside the Cedar lobby. John tried figuring out how to play Brand New songs on his mandolin.
I went to tutoring, and when I got home, I got online.
Bad idea.
I mustered up enough courage to confront Charlie about his ignoring me.
The conversation wasn't pretty.
I talked to Brian (Glover, not Davis), and we complained about the crappiness of teenagerism. We think it should be outlawed.
I <3 Bri. Friends <3 and care for each other, and he is one friend who encourages me to not give up in life.
Well, quite a few of my friends are special like that, but he's probably the one who has cheered me up the most this moment.
And I've been bettering my relationships with friends, like John Russell, Brian, Sam Kennedy, and Linzy, and trusting them with secrets or things that aren't normally open to people.
Tomorrow's Friday.
I hope it's a better end to a sad week.
What weird weather we've been having for such a terrible week; it's been way too sunny and warm and pretty.
Usually these weeks are rainy and cliché.
Maybe I'll even find someone to go with to that spring fair Mom keeps bugging me about.
I guess these are the times when I wish desperately (instead of it just being a miniature dead hope and wish) that I was still going out with DJ. I love him, but I am definitely cool with being just friends with him. However, he was a symbol of stability in my life. I miss the times when life was easy, stable, predictable, and happy.
Hooray for being an angsty teenager.
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