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Spooky (angryspooky) wrote,
@ 2004-11-16 01:08:00
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    Current music:Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds: The Curse of Millhaven

    Papa won't leave you, Henry.
    Do you think moths are scared when they build their cocoon, or do you think they are full of excitement and wonder at the prospect of just having wings? Do you think moths find butterflies to be shallow and vain? Do you think they look at one another and remember when they were both just worms?

    Sometimes, when I think about the people I've met and known and how little of them are a part of my life now, I start to understand what a thing a cocoon can be.

    Anyway; recently, I talked to Alex. That's Jen's boyfriend in Jersey or wherever. To be hoenst, I think she's doinga diservice to him. It's hardly fair to keep him trailed behind. Is it maybe my own past relationships I see in them? Is it some piece of the person I was I see in Alex? I used to say "If the me from today and the me from a year ago met, I'd strangle the old me." Maybe I was closer that I thought to the mark. I digress. Anyway, he and I talked. Talking to him is like talking to a machine built to read your mind, pick the worst thing to say at the worst time, and then getting angry with it. The machine can't help being wired that way, but you still want to pull out it's cable and throw it out a tall building. Everytime I think "Alex is a pretty good kid" I find myself also thinking that'd be very easy to hit him with a brick.

    I will admit, I was rather flattered to find out that he had pretty much assumed that we'd meet one day.

    He did say something to me, though; that he can't imagine just pushing someone away just because they want attention, and it scared me. It scared me because I remember thinking just like that, and then spending two years being a sub-human with no spine. I don't think that every person who wants attention is a Vampire. I just think those that lack the ability to be out of the spotlight for three seconds are. I mean, seriously. Does everything always have to be about you? You aren't even a C+.



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