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So I had the unique opportunity to go on vacation with my parents. Not with my whole family, just with mom and dad. Kind of odd for a 24-year-old to do, but really, my parents are pretty cool. The objective of the trip was to see our Beavs play their first game of the season at Stanford. There was really no doubt in our minds who was going to win, and just as we suspected, the stadium had a pretty strong showing of orange and black. I really couldn't tell you just how it happened, but the Beavs ended up losing to the cardinal. (The color...their mascot isn't even an animal, it's a color...) I mean, there was some good stuff I saw out there. Sammie is back, or getting back, and we have some hot young talent. I was impressed out of my mind watching Lyle Moevao play. He plays with such heart, and he is an amazing leader. He also passed for something like 404 yards, the 9th most ever in one game for Oregon State. He did have a couple INT's, but soooo many completions...I think he is only going to get better. Same for the rest of the team. We clearly weren't in control of this game, but got pretty close to tying it up in the final seconds. The Rodgers brothers, McCants, and some previously-unknown, Morales, show their inexperience but a LOT of talent. The first few games might be "rebuilding games" but I think we'll be pretty strong toward the end of the season, even more so next year. Still, the loss stung, in a big way. I mean, I was upset. We had an hour's drive back to the hotel after the game, and I mumbled a few words when asking questions. I think it was the next day before I could really speak in full sentences. However, with a day or so to cool off, I have been able to see the positive in the Beaver's play. I'd like to direct your attention to how much I just spoke about Beaver football. And that was summarizing in a big way. I could have said so much more. However, something's really come upon my heart lately in a big way. I have so much passion for Beaver football, and not a lot for my faith. I realized this on the drive to and from when my parents and I were listening to a book on CD, "My Life on the Rock" by Jeff Cavins (his story of "reverting" back to the Catholic Church). He spoke so candidly and sincerely about his love for the faith and his struggles, and I struggle to even talk about my faith. For me, lately, it's been such an "intellectual" practice for me. I trust the church in everything She teaches. I do a pretty good job of abiding by the rules. But that passion I have for football? I hate to say it but lately it's far outdone the passion I have for God. I'm a "good Catholic girl." Sure, I have the very occasional night of having one too many drinks, or maybe a 4-letter-word slips through my lips. But all in all, I live a pretty pure life. However, I can't help be reminded of 1 Corinthians 13, and I feel like I'm just a clanging symbol. I have no love. I have no passion. I'm going through the motions. I don't know how to re-ignite that passion. I'm struggling with being devoted to God and excited about his love. I get so turned off by some of the "christian-ese" language, the cliches that often sound very "evangelical protestant" to me. No offense if you are evangelical protestant. I know some people use those words very sincerely, but when they come out of my mouth, or some other people's mouths, they sound so canned, as if the person is just reciting them. Phrases like "staying grounded in the Word," "leading one another to the Lord" "knowing Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior." I believe all that! I know what it all means, but the phrasing...I know it's such a petty thing to be put off by. Maybe it's an excuse? I want God to be a personal and daily part of my life. But I want to be genuine and approachable. I'm a social worker after all. I'm afraid that if I get caught up in that "christianese," it will turn people OFF to the love that I so much want to spread. People smile and shake their heads when I rant about the Beavs, unless it's one of the few that join in with me. They smile at my passion for them because it's genuine. I don't try and "convert" people to the Beavs, but one or two have become fans due much in part to my enthusiasm. That's how I want to evangelize. And yes, Catholics do evangelize. They don't much like the word, but it is an important part of our life as a church. I feel like if I exuded that much enthusiasm over my faith, though, it would be a turnoff to people. They'd see it as me trying to change them, whether or not that was the intent. And it would scare them off. And that's the last thing I want to do. Anyway, if anyone's got this one all figured out, feel free to give me some advice :). Post a comment in response: |
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