| Current mood: |  disappointed |
I'd like to go on record by saying I hate the 4th of July.
Any other holiday I can get through pretty unscathed. I can usually find someone to hang out with, or find spiritual meaning to cling to so that I'm not all worried about (still) being single.
4th of July, everybody seems to bolt. Everybody seems to have somewhere to go, somewhere to be, and I (with the exception of last year) am left bored and alone. I hate being this way. I really do. I'm so normally not like this. But it sucks knowing that most of my friends are out there doing SOMETHING fun with SOMEONE (lately, it seems everyone's pairing off, too) and I'm just kinda sitting around twiddling my thumbs. I long for three-day weekends, and yet right now I'm finding myself wishing I had gone to work today.
I'm so lonely right now, not to mention trying to fight off feelings of rejection. I'm not a hopeless person. I'm a very optimistic person, but I feel like I've taken a really huge hit in the last couple days. But I'm struggling right now, not to mention really annoyed with myself for struggling. I have a good life and I recognize this.
I'm just really frustrated, a little angry with God cuz I don't know what he's trying to do with me, and I hope that's ok.
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