Can we mold your penis, please?
Today I walked into class 10 minutes late and still a little drunk and found my professor (a 65 year old man) shirtless preparing to lie down on a bed of nails. Topless old man + 9 am + beer, malibu, and captain mo = nauseous bear. I decided today was not a class day and walked right back home.
Last night I went to Maloney's with Jessica and Matt. Matt bought all our drinks, so I figured the least I could do was provide him some entertainment. There was this ugly, stumpy little man standing by the bar. I walked up to him, put up arm around him, hit myself in the face with my boob, then walked away and sat back down. Needless to say, he was quite confused.
Since for once I didn't drink before going out, I hoovered my drinks even more quickly that usual.. basically I drank them in 2 gulps. By the end of the night, when it actually got crowded, I figured I should just order 2 at a time cuz otherwise the time between drinks would be longer than the time drinking each drink. Amazingly, I made it home not blacked out and with no new stolen property. To be honest, I'm a little disappointed in myself...
So Jackie and I have decided to make molding penises our new hobby. Any willing moldees out there? If you're lucky you might get a blowjob out of it... and your penis will be immortalized. Who wouldn't want that?
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