| Current mood: |  pensive |
| Current music: | A Perfect Circle - 3 Libra's |
I want to say:
I hate my life
I?m useless
There?s no purpose
But in doing so I would only create negative feelings
Instead I say:
I missed the bus
Twice
Seems like I have a problem with being late
What can I do to change that?
it's so hard to reverse negative thoughts. it becomes a habit, an addicting habit. i'm just now starting to identify those times when my thinking turns sour. when something goes wrong it's easier to just give up on everything. i missed one class, i'm a loser, i might as well skip all classes. temporarily, it works. you can quit everything, shirk all responsibilities, escape reality. but these "perks" don't last for long and, in the end, are extremely damaging. i've been depressed for so long that in some weird way it almost feels good to revert back to this state. i may be making progress and one little thing goes wrong. feeling sorry for myself and thinking negatively allows me back into my "comfort zone".
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