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Aim B (amelieb) wrote,
@ 2005-04-26 21:32:00
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    Detroit to Windsor, Windsor to Montreal
    Ches told McGill he will be attending next fall.

    Ever feel completely void of abilities to express yourself? I have that right now.

    I feel:
    *happy because he finally decided where he's going
    *sad because I'll never see him
    *selfish for always thinking about how it'll affect me
    *inadequate because i was his incentive for ann arbor, which he declined
    *excited because we're both going to meet so many people
    *scared because i don't know if i can do things without him
    *stupid because i'm immature and being selfish

    and so many other things

    i know it's not a big deal to a lot of people out there. i know most couples break up before college. but we want to be different. we want to stay together. or atleast i do. am i silly for thinking we'd be able to? we're going to be so far apart. do i matter that much to him?

    i don't know what to say. i don't even know how i feel yet.

    i really thought that i would be enough for him to go to umich. but i know he'll be happier at mcgill. i know he's going to succeed and be happy there. happier than in ann arbor, even if he is with me.

    i feel alone. alone in thought. alone in body. alone for five more years.

    i'm being selfish. but i can't help it. i just want everything to work out.

    i want to be able to fix everything.

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