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EH, when I have time I'm gonna change the layout for this journal. It's growing way too old on me. I don't know what I'm gonna do about Silas. We argued again today. What I like about him is that he'll always admit when he's wrong and he'll apologize for it, and you know that he means it. When we were fighting today I kept telling him I don't want to be with him if I can't be myself and he said something like "but you could be such a better person, I don't know why you act the way you do" and I told him it's stupid things llike that, that he says that pisses me off. He was saying how he likes it when it's just us, but once we're in a group, I act differently... and I said well maybe it's because I'm not myself when I'm around you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god damn... so I kicked him out, but it wasn't easy. I was literally one touch (iPhone touch screen haha) away from calling him... the thing with Silas is that I know he has such high standards so when I'm with him, I guess I do try to hold myself higher, and I'm not sayin it's a bad thing, because maybe I do need to change some bad habits I have, but it's like I can't be that person 24/7... I mean this is who I was when he met me... I was taking shots with him for god sake... and maybe he's right, I'm too immature to be in a serious relationship and the reason I can't see it right now is because I'm not ready for it. I'm not gonna hold him back. sucks because I really liked him. but things never work out like they're supposed to. I'm not even gonna bother with him anymore. no one I know has ever looked at me with such disgust, the way he'd look at me sometimes. he knew me and still judged me... oh well. he's a good guy though, just not for me. anyways. I can't wait until Spring Break! Goin to Hawaii with my family + Catie. Alex said she's gonna try to get her family to go too! But yes, I'm so excited... =) until then, I'm just gonna try to catch up on some school stuff. not really behind, but I should do more of readings on time so that I don't get hella lost in lecture like I tend to do. I have like another group presentation in a week and a half but other than that, there's no midterms or tests to worry about (other than the weekly quizzes I have on wednesday for my hr class and friday for my stats class). I get to sleep til 1030 tomorrow since I dont have class til noon =) yay! puppiessssssssssss. haven't talked about my babies in so long! moose is so obnoxious sometimes. everytime I try to take him out he runs under the couch and like won't let me grab him. he's so annoying sometimes. then I have to hella yell at him and then he lets me pull him out. he's a bad boy... still acts like a baby!!! muffin on the other hand is an angel... whenever we leave the door open to get groceries or something, she'll want to run out and she'll make sure no one's watching, but once we yell her name she wont dare to look at the door again lol. they're both smart though, it's just that moose is soooooo obnoxious. sometimes when I yell at him he doesn't even get scared of me. I need an older dog to put moose on check! ok i'm totally wasting time. i'm gonna reread lecture notes and go to bed. goodnight all Post a comment in response: |
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