i know i know!
i know i said i would write about stephen in here anymore but i just can't help it. i guess it's been around a month since we've last spoken and that was when i told him to stop texting or calling me because i just needed to get over him. well he just recently started texting me again. last week he text me inviting me to go to a party the baseball house was throwing. and the next day he asked me how my midterms went (i guess he had checked my facebook) and i felt kinda bad... because i know how he is and i know how if we were in a fight, he never gave in when it came to who called the other first or in a sense who was the one who came crawling back. it was always me. and so he probably was having a hard time. so on wednesday, working was goin a little slow and i sent him an email updating him on how berekely's been for me and telling him how i appreciate his texts and his concerns but i still thought i needed time to get over him. and i told him i cant stop him from texting me, but he should just know that i probably most likely wont respond and that if he respected me, he'd stop texting me altogether. soooooooo that night he responded and wrote a 10 page essay, seriously he wrote so much. and that's what i was afraid of. i didnt wanna read it, understand where hes coming from, and go back to him. but i did read it... and it was just him saying it was hard on him too blahblahblah, and so i emailed him and told him he needs closure and so i told him im sorry that it took me leaving for him to finally realize we had something good. i told him i have no hard feelings towards him and that we can always be friends, but before that happens, we both need to get past what he had or else we're just gonna fall back into that relationship we had... and i said more... and he responded the next morning with a very simple sentence "thanks for that email... i wish you the best in life... maybe we will be friends again like u said." and after that email i fell back into a slumber :( i mean i knew it was over then, but it was like breaking up all over againnn. but i've made great progress. it's just that when i'm by myself driving or something, that's when i'll start thinking about him. so i always have to be occupied with something, but it's fine. i really don't know if stephen and i can ever be friends again... i mean stephen was a great person and a great boyfriend, it's just that he'd get so carried away sometimes. but anywaysssssss onto another related subject.
so the whole problem with stephen was always that he had other priorities over me. well, catie and her bf of three years are having the same problems. and it's ridiculous cuz its even worse than what i went through with stephen. catie works weekends in fremont so when she works, she stays at kevin's place and then on weekdays she goes to school in alameda and lives with me and alex in berekely. she said whenever she goes to kevin's shes always excited to see him and that shed go to his house waiting for him to come home from work, and he'd call her and say he'd take another shift, or work another 3 hours or so, and by the time he'd get back, he'd fall asleep on her. she said this has happened multiple times and the extent to where this has gone and how long its been going on... just leaves me so clueless. i mean i left stephen for this same exact problem and i dont mean to be an LC but i keep telling catie to stop crawling back to him. he treats her so bad! so they were on a break this whole week right... and she gave in and finally called him and asked him would he like to stay on this break, and he said yeah he would... so when she got back from work, she told me that was what she needed to hear in order to get over him. well next thing you know... an hour later she calls him again and i guess he didnt pick up so she left him a voicemail. then i asked catie if she wanted to go out to eat with nicki and she said "no im waiting on kevin to call, he might wanna go out" and i asked her if he said he'd call and i guess he had told her that he'd be in berkeley eating dinner with his cousin who goes to school here, and he said when hes done he'd call her. well at around 9 he never called so while i was on the phone with marissa, i heard catie talking on the phone with kevin and she was saying "well ill prob get there in half an hour, are u gonna be awake" or whatever and asking him if she goes, if hell sleep or spend time with her and a bunch of other questions. then she started grabbing her keys and she was gonna leave and i asked her where shes going, and she seemed hesitant to tell me but she said shes going to kevins and i said "so he called you?" and she said no that she called him and that he said he meant to call her... and she told me how she could check his vmail bc she knows his pin or whatever, so she checked if he had gotten her vmail because he hadnt called her... and she said he already deleted it, so thats why she called him. to see why he didnt call her back after he checked the vmail. so shes like "but yeah... i guess ill see you tomorrow and ill let you know how things go." it just irritated me so bad because its exactly what i went through with stephen. its so crazy how similar both stephen and kevin are. kevin is a golfer and he's trying to go pro with it so he'll always put that before catie, and upon that he has this room mate who he always defends and chooses over his own girlfriend of 3 years. its just sad cuz catie tried to do what i did with stephen, and she went 1 week wihtout calling him, then she had to give in... ah!!! but anyways im getting so tired of writing about this. i'm over it...
next subject PLEASE. actually im just gonna go read. im tired of thinking so much. goodnight.
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