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A hott married mama! (alternatvespike) wrote,
@ 2004-03-02 23:21:00
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    Current mood: enraged
    Current music:"One Step Closer" by Linkin Park

    boys are stupid, throw big rocks at them!!
    hm...problem of the day is Why does Chase have to be an ass? Hm...could it be because he likes to think that he has a sort of control of me. To make me feel like I'm lower than him. Probably not but I feel like it. I feel like every time I ask a simple question he either looks or makes me feel like I'm retarded. Like take today: The first time we took Kylee to the doctor for her jaundice check up we payed $115 for her to just see the doctor because at the time she wasn't on his insurance yet. Well there is a way where you send a claim into the insurance to get your money back. Well instead of sending us the money they gave it back to the doctor. In which the doctor was payed the initial $115 and then another $78. So I asked Chase what I should do. I always ask him because I don't know I'm so used to it and I really didn't know what to do. He then responds with: "You need to grow up and begin doing things for yourself." Okay I read this and I was totally surprised. My fucking husband decided to write that to me? Oh so I responded with, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" He then goes onto his "psychiatric talk" where it sounds like hes talking to a child and comments that, "I didn't need to use that language." Hm...what this sparks inside me is extreme pissiness! You know what I grew up in a family that would tell it like it is. We might use profound language but we got our point across and then it was over. The way his oh so wonderful family does it, is I guess just forgets the problem. Okay if someone treats me like i'm 12 then i'm going to give them a little bit of my mind. I don't care if its my husband or a worst enemy. I'm just so unbelievably pissed. I thought that maybe we had gotten over this fucking stage. Hm...I remember when he told me that Shasta(a BEEPING BEEPER OF A BEEP!!!) was more mature than I was. I'm sorry I don't like to listen to Britney Spears or giggle at the dumbest things. I like to listen to music with some depth and I may be a little shallow but I understand people better than she ever did. No i'm an understanding person that helped Chase through his hard times and my family has accepted him and still he treats me like this? Oh hell! You know I keep baby all day, I sleep from 11-3 then wake up to feed and change her, then go back to sleep from 4-7 then feed and change her, and then she wakes up at around 9 and will not go back to sleep until 12. Then I go to school on Monday nights for 3 hours just to be surrounded by scary people, then on Tuesdays I wake up early to take Kylee to Hannahs and then go to class and then come and pick her up and go home. Then on Thursdays I go to school while my dad watches her. I work Sunday mornings with completely rude people and then I work on Saturdays just to be reminded that I do not have my husband and watch as every couple comes in so incredibly happy. And what does Chase do? He has it easy, he doesn't get woken up to a crying baby. Plus lately she has been extremely sick and that has just added to my stress level. I love my baby and everything but he doesn't even acknowledge that I do have a hard time right now. NO I'm sorry I'm being so immature because the whole time he was here I did his laundry. I didn't wake him up when I needed a bottle or a diaper. I let him sleep and for what? For him to tell me to grow up? What the fuck ever!! I'm sorry Chase let me be more like you ok? Every time I talk to you I will make you feel like a midget and then maybe you will understand how I feel...

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