|Current mood:||thought INTENSE|
|Current music:||Bette Midler - oh ya got to have friends|
the roomate from hell & other great friends
well, she's getting another talk today. i printed out that last entry & handed it to her and said, "that's for you. read it." it accomplished nothing. she cried her way out of most of it & i fell for it. she had nothing to say about any of it because she knew she was guilty. and i knew that too, but all i wanted was for her to re-evaluate what she was doing to her life & to mine. Nothing's changed really except she's real perky all the time. That's great, because I'm still a bitch to her. Don't act nice. You owe me fucking money and I want it back. Thank god I only have a month left with you, then BYE BYE!..
So I realized this weekend while talking to my sister, that there are 3 friends in this world that I will love and trust forever. One being Nathan. We talk daily even though he's overseas, and he always listens to me and has great advice. And not once has he ever done anything to hurt me which is amazing, seeing as how I know I'm supersensitive. Two, miss Katey Tripoli. It's funny how you can know someone for only a year, and keep in contact with them more than you do most people. She's always there for me, she understands me, and she is just all around an amazing friend. Without her, I don't know where I'd be sometimes. Third, as odd as it seems, is Beth. We've been through alot, but when it comes down to it, no one knows me like she does. Well, all 3 of them do, but Beth's been there the most & the longest. We have some weird way of singing or dancing or doing some odd thing that only we can understand, which is a connection I love. For some reason I've just finally let go of everything that I was grudging about. And especially after Chad & Adam's deaths, I've really realized how precious time here is. They were so young, and so are we. These 3 people have been there with me through ups and downs, but I don't know.. there's something about them that I will love forever.
Some other people that I have grown apart with, but always want them to be there are.. Katherine. We haven't talked in a while, but there's always a goodness to her that I love. She always keeps it simple and honest. She will always be my Kiola bear. Stephanie. My summer sister. She comes and goes but we always pick up where we left off and nothing changes; she is the same person she was in 9th grade.. and I love her for that. Caitlin. Through good times and bad, she has been there for me. When I was having problems, she was amazing.. always helping me and keeping me sane, even when we were just starting to get to know each other. Garage sales will always hold a special place with her & me. Paul. As weird as it is, Paul sometimes knows more about me than most people. We've kept in touch, and I'm probably one of 3 people he keeps in touch with from high school. He's crazy and fun, and makes me forget my problems.
You realize so much when you get your head out of the clouds. I'm just glad it finally happend.