| Current music: | loveactually soundtrack - aka BAD IDEA right now |
i've looked at life from both sides now
going home tommorrow. that's pretty sweet i guess. there's just alot here i need to get finished.
last night went to the frat house, nate was there, acted really weird. ryan didn't even talk to me. after he came to my game i guess i was embarassed he was there to watch me and ignored him again. then called him and apologized and he said it was cool and we talked for a bit and it was nice. then at the party he ignores me. and so does nate. then all their friends were all up on me. eric actually humped me. nate saw that.. i dont think he liked that so much. so cops are called meg eric & i leave along with half the party (it was like the titanic, so many freaking drunk kids in the street running hahaha)
go to the den, see joe, he says come down to brett's because they're smoking. so i go down with joe and knock on the door... and guess who answers the fucking door. i never thought this would happend in a MILLION years. nate answers the door. FUCKING NATE. so me being drunk, stoned, fucked up in general, go and yell at him. i'm like "listen, why are you ignoring me?!" forgetting there is a room full of people. then i was like why are you here? but i saw tj and chris so i figured it out, the weed situation. they all came down b/c brett is brothers w/ tj & chris (bahaha brett's in a frat, that is funny) i don't think nate knows he's gay or he probably would've ran hahaha. so we all smoke, im the only chick there. then i think nate was pissed that i came down with joe, he probably was weirded out like "who is that kid" b/c it was just the two of us. but it's just joe.
so then he left to go to the bar. i hate that he's 21 now. and i hate that we're all awkward. i just want to grab him, kiss him, and be like, "its you i want, all of them mean nothing to me."
and now all that shit is out of his profile. the weezer song el scorcho. gone. maybe it's just over. it's weird enough and i have NO clue why. like what the fuck is going on. we're ok for a couple days then he's weird again. like what do i do? or what does he think i do?
ok frustration is out. sort of.
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