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pj (allthatsleft) wrote,
@ 2005-02-25 17:07:00
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    Current mood: sick
    Current music:weezer - el scorcho

    i think i'd be good for you..
    so i figured out the weirdness between nate & i. its amanda. she has a thing for him, i know it. last night we were talking and he asked me if she liked him and i said why? and he said that she always chases me away when him & i are talking. and as weird as that sounds, he hit the nail right on. i dont know what to do about it. ok so this is weird. one night we were both really fucked up and we told eachother that we liked him. so i've backed off from him or whatever for a bit. like we still will go over & hang out with him, but out of respect i've tried to stay away from him in the "liking" aspect for amanda. well she has been all over carlos lately, the two of them have been hooking up, and she really likes him. so i thought ok, nate & i can happen now maybe? she wont be mad? problem is.. i dont think she likes when we're together, like some sort of jealousy thing not on purpose or anything, but because she did have feelings and i know how that is. and nate & i have finally started talking about things rather than just beat around it which has put a smile on my face. well, i dont know how to tell amanda or anyone. i dont want to. thats why i havent said anything to anyone. no one really knows, because i dont want to know their opinion. its nate, yes he does some stuff & has done some stuff in the past, but he's one of the most genuine people? i guess thats the word? i dont know. he's honest. i like that. and he's funny, he's not serious all the time. fuck those emotional kids, they screw with my head. he's just himself and doesn't care who knows. i just gotta figure out a way to confirm the entire situation. i gotta tell meg & amanda and like everyone else. i gotta tell nate haha. GOD this is weird. ok. figuring shit out later. meg's comin over right now.



    ps... meg. told me something. its pretty crazy. she's led a fucked up life. thats why she's so down to earth. when she told me i didnt even act surprised or anything, i was calm



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