|Current mood:|| silly|
|Current music:||Commercials on the radio.|
I talked to John for a couple hours today. I miss him so damned much. We've been having cyber sex like rabbits. =P I haven't been able to touch him for twenty-two days. It hurts.
He asked me to please stop scratching away at myself yesterday. I didn't do it today. I wasn't angry or sad, maybe I should talk to him all morning more often. I can't wait until we move out together. I told him that I'm going to wake him up everyday. I love the way he sounds with sleep in his voice, and the way he looks with sleep in his eyes, the way he wraps his arms around me so sleepily, and kisses me with morning breath. I love him to death. I never realized that I could love so much. It's so deep and unconditional. I hope everything works out, the way things are going right now, there's no reason to even hope though, because it's going to happen.
I remember when he came up to Jacksonville with me for a week during the summer. (Last summer.) It was all just.. beautiful. Every action, every word. We got to cook together, he made a mess, and all I could think was how silly he was as I cleaned up after him. Every morning I would sit next to him or across from him on the other couch, just waiting for him to wake up. If I couldn't wait anymore, I'd just wake him up. Then he would kiss me, hug me, or pull me up on top of him on the couch and we'd fall back asleep there. We slept together that way the first night he was there, but my mom said something about that, so we weren't allowed to, but she would leave for work, and I'd go sleep with him. I never saw what the problem was with actually sleeping with someone, we weren't having sex, and even if we were, not being able to lay next to eachother wouldn't stop us.
And we would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning, 'til everyone went to sleep, and we'd fool around in the living room on the couch.
God I miss him..