|Current mood:|| annoyed|
|Current music:||Nickelback - Silver Side Up|
Let's talk about sex, baby.
I still want to write. Sometimes I could write forever. I wish I was feeling poetic though. I want to write a poem. I haven't in almost a year.
Being online is the most boring damn thing I do everyday, all day. And why? I think I would have more fun if I was exercising, but exercising isn't mind-stimulating. And I would think too much about everything and anything. Thoughts are always free-flow, but when I can read other people's thoughts and words online, at least then the flow is going in, not out all the time.
I wish John and I could have sex. Maybe while I feel like ripping my insides out, I could just remove my uteris, then we could have worry-free sex. But no, I'm still a virgin, he's still a virgin. We're both hormone drenched, screaming teenagers who can't have sex because we're too responsible. Fuck responsibility. It didn't matter a hundred years ago, when 15 year olds were being married off. I think that was a hundred years ago...?
We did the whole cyber sex thing, since I'm not going home for another 5 and a half weeks. It was nice, but, it's funny trying to think of words to use. I never used to have a problem with that... All of my previous boyfriends were online relationships. Maybe it's harder because I know I'll have to look him in the face later. Finding ways to describe in words how you're going to sit on someone's penis is... well... hard. I just told him I sat on it, and laughed. =P It's also not as fun unless you can spice up each up and down movement with a different adjective or describe it in a totally different way. It was still wonderful. I wonder if making love to someone's mind is better than making love to their body? It gave me goosebumps just thinking about what he would be doing to me if I didn't have a uteris and he was with me. If only I was a guy and he was gay. Haha... ew. Testosterone over-dose.
I'm happy with our foreplay though. I think I'll end up liking foreplay more than I'll like intercourse. I love oral, and just kissing and caressing. It all feels so good.
I'm a horny bastard.
I don't think sex is bad though, and I don't think it should be so hush-hush. I wouldn't feel at all guilty for having sex with John, whether we're married or not. What's the problem?
I'm reading this book, "Brave New World," they're all promiscuous (sp?) and stuff. It's cool... It was the author's outlook on how corrupt the world would become though.
Anyways... I'm done. I got stuck talking to Andy and got pissed off..