| Current mood: |  lonely |
| Current music: | Yesterday by Paul McCartney |
No, of course not, why would there be something wrong?
I just left James's house. I had picked up Charlie and we had both gone over there, just to hang out. Of course, I didn't even stop to think that would mean. James and Charlie would play their guitars together or play some video game that I hadn't the slightest clue on how to play. Then, of course, they would offer me a turn thinking that by blurred observance would have somehow enlightened me on how to play. So, what do I do? Watch the stupid video game for a while before laying down and shutting my eyes. Oh, let me tell you how entertaining that is. The last thing I wanted to do was go home, I mean, I'm with 2 of my best friends, but at least I could do something at home, where as my options there were: sleep, watch with confusion. I never felt so lonely in the presence of friends before. Of course they tried to make me stay "we can do something else" oh yeah, like what? play the guitars? oh, how amusing for me, let me tell you. So now I am at home, unsure about everything.
Maybe that perfect relationship that I was so sure I had isn't as perfect as I thought. No where near perfect I mean. As I was driving home I couldn't help but think that maybe this fairy tale relationship is just that, a fairy take. I don't want things to be over, but this loneliness is almost too hard to handle. *rubs head* it hurts so much, everything. My heart aches, I feel betrayed and I don't know why. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be alone, *cry* I don't want to be alone....
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