|Current mood:|| cheerful|
|Current music:||Yet again, the Mars Volta.|
I'm only writting because i'm bored.
Umm.. yesterday i rote all the stuff i do to myself, we'll i dunno.. i am depressed and all but... im not suicidal. i dont know how to explain it, i guess if u are a self harmere then you will understand. but the thing is, i was thinking last night .. and i think if i actually got with Adrian, then i wouldn't be depressed anymore.
Hes one of the very FEW people that know about my depression and stuff, and when i am tlaking to the people that know, i feel happy because they are like my real friends. i guess its the 'a problem shared is a problem solved' or something. Well anyways, yeh so thast another pro going Adrians way. but what the hell am i going to do if i find out he does like me! ARG.... stupid life, stupid feelings!!
its still only morning, and i'm bored. My brother didnt come in last night so that means i could stay on the internet all day... thats sad isn't it? i'm so glad that we have tomorrow off, thank GOd for may day... that means i have nother day away from school, which is one of the main reason that i hate myself. Mainly because teachers are constently tellling me that i suck at everything.... and its brainwashed me totally! ok, i already knew i sucked at everything, but i cant lie to myself anymore now the teachers tell me. When i come home i have no energy to do anything, buti have to because i have major exams soooon, so i have ro revise and keep up my social life. ARG.... but after a hard day Adrian is usually online, and it makes it all better....
Yeh, i tought i would tell you about Adrian:
* Hes a year older then me
* He has the cutest accent
* He's alternative
* We've known each other 4 yeras
* he once phoned my everyday for at least 5 hours on my mobile, and got his ass kicked because of the phone bill
* Hes really hot
* He's in a band play drums
* He has one brother, who just had a kiddie!
* Hes really sweet to me
* One of the few people who makes me feel really good about myself
* He has cute floppy hair
* When i think of him i get butterflys
* He makes me blush alot, which makes me feel good
* blue eyes =D
* 60)Pretty= Chloe! he put that in a quizzie
* hes just the best
i fell really weird for liking him so much, it's like being a little kid again.... and i also feel like i'm making him feel ackward even though he doesn't know i liek him.
anyways, i have to go... -*waves*-