| Current mood: |  frustrated |
| Current music: | my sexy love - ne yo |
i wish i could tell you
i remember the first day we met. on myspace remember . . . and you told me that i should be a model. i thought you were just some creep but you turned out pretty amazing. and we started talking online. remeber our perircings conversation? about how we were gonna get everything done together at the same time and take pictures and put them up on myspace? and then how we talked more and more about modeling. and then that one day i finally saw you in school. turns out we had class near each other. and we walked together and talked alot. and that day you told me my hair looked really good. and then we hung out. just bored online and i asked you to go the movies because i didn't have anything else to do and you said yeah. so we went and we hung out at the movies for like 6 hours. and we went wayy earlier than our movie started so we just sat in there and talked. and then remember you made me laugh so hard that i farted like crazy. good thing it didn't smell. but you laughed about it and i laughed about it. that night was pretty amazing with you. i never met someone that i could just open up to and talk to about anything. and then remember wendy's and we saw your friend there. lol haha. then we saw another movie and i was too scared to move lol and i screamed at everything and at the one not scary part where she backed into the wall you jumped lol. and i remember you going i would make out with you right now but i guess now's not a good time lol. who makes out with a scared girl when there's a "hot dead girl" on the screen. haha remember that?
and then we went home and talked for hours on the phone. i guess that started a series because we started talking on the phone like that more and more. and we'd just talk about anything. remember wanting to go to california together and getting our parents to get us a hotel room and a car so we can stay in california for like 3 weeks and talking about how amazing it would be and how it would never ever happen. and wanting to go on a cruise together. and then we were talking while the snow was falling and how about we hoped for no school the next day. we had some pretty good conversations.
i remember finally putting you on my top 8. i guess that was when i started liking you a little bit. and when i went to visit my grandma in alabama and you came over the night before i left and we watched saw together. and then my dad walked in and we were both kinda like oh shit. you don't know how much i missed you when i was gone. and i thought you didn't miss me either which made it suck but it turns out you did. and when i saw you when i got back it was the happiest i'd been since i saw you before i left.
since then the feelings i'd have for you had only grown. i loved being around you and i even made friends with your friends just so that i could see you more. i must admit that i was jealous of all the other girls you thought were pretty or that were even just friends with you, because i just wanted you to myself. we never did go out and i never understood why. i'd like to know why one day, but now isn't the time. i'm glad that we didn't let that get in the way of our friendhship though because you're more than a best friend to me, but less than a boyfriend so i'm not sure what to call you.
but now i'm over you. it frustrates me that this is how we turned out and frustrates me more that we fight the way that we do but i guess that's just us. we'll never be more than just friends and now i'm perfecly ok with that. i wish that i could tell you all these things and i wish that i could have written all the things down that come bouncing inside my head whenever i hear your name or think of you. but i guess all i can say is i loved you more than words can explain and i'm ok with saying that now because i know that i've experienced no greater feeling than loving someone and giving them all of you.
i loved you bubba . . . . but not anymore =/
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