Your Little Rockstar (__d0lly_wh0re__) wrote, @ 2004-04-19 20:23:00

I hate those moods.. where you just feel like complete and utter shit. I want to cry.. but I can't because my head hurts too much and crying will just make it worse. I feel like an idiot. Everyone knows about my little "episode" on saturday. And I mean everyone. Even people I don't know! Because some fucking little retard named eoin decided to go around and tell everyone what happened to me, he also said I got fucking arrested. Which I didn't.

I'm so sick of people exaggerating the truth, and adding extra, stupid bits onto it. It makes me look like a bigger fucking fool than I already am. I hate it. Why do people constantly spread shit about me? Why do they feel the need to make me out to be a slut, a stupid cunt and a fucking pathetic attention whore. I hate them. I fucking hate them all. From now on I'll just fucking keep myself to myself and not let anyone else know my business or what goes on in my life.

I hate them, and I hate myself for getting that drunk, and losing my fucking bag. I feel like an idiot. I don't even remember half the stuff from saturday.

I thought eoin still liked me? I thought he was still in love with me? I thought he didn't want to fuck up our "friendship" again? Well you did it again. And this time I won't forgive you. This time there will be no second chances because I'm sick of the shit I have to put up with for you. I'm sick of having you spread rumours about me, and telling everyone my business and what I go through.

You've fucked it up again. Thank you. You've also managed to make an asshole out of me. I hope your happy. I hope your pleased that you managed to make me ashamed to show my face in public.

Crawl down a hole and die. Do everyone a favour. They're all sick of your shit. You're such a liar. You're such a fake. You're such an arsehole!

Fuck sake. Fuck this. I'm so sick of trying to maintain a certain image, just to have it ruined by the slightest thing. over and over again.

I just want to curl up and fade away.

Do people think it's funny to do shit like this to someone? Do they find it fun to ruin someone's image.. and make them out to be fools?

I hate this. I hate it all.. I'm fucking sick of school already and I wasn't even in today. Just the thought of going back tomorrow makes me want to jump out my window. I can't do it anymore. I've got no will to try anymore. It's such an effort to get up in the morning. I really want to try. I want to be good in school. I want to be able to cop onto maths, and irish, and everything else I have problems with. But there's only 6 weeks left in school.. and my way of thinking of it is I'll start next year. But I know I won't. And if I don't buck up by the end of this year, they're going to kick me out. They're legally allowed to now.

I really have to cop on. I have to stop drinking. I have to stop smoking hash and doing drugs. I have to stop all that crap if I want to cop on. I have to calm myself down.. I'm just getting myself worked up.

*sigh*

[/rant]

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