|Current mood:|| lonely|
|Current music:||Down Again-Chimaira|
It all comes back in the end
Everything always comes back around every god damn time. I feel like shit for the longest time. I'm miserable and want to disappear forever. Then I leave for a few months and I come back and I've recovered from all the bullshit that happens and I'm doing good, I can see her and not feel anything I can just do things and feel fine, nothing can get me down. Then one night something that doesn't even matter happens, doesn't even directly affect me, actually fuckin ruined everything. I fall right back into what I was. Unhappy thinking shit that I really shouldn't be.
Its not normal. Its not as bad as it used to be. Its now that I feel like all my friends and everybody is passing me by. I'm the only one who isn't advancing in high school or in the adult world. I mean yeah I can drive I work alot and make pretty good money. I am a mature person, but I don't mean it like that. Things are now happening to my friends that aren't to me and I can't handle it. I don't know why this bothers me so much but Christ I can't take it sometimes. I'm gunna take a fuckin huge ass long knife and fuckin nail myself to the wall and just slowly bleed to death.
Darkness, imprisoning all that I see absolute horror.
I cannot live, I cannot die, trapped in myself, body my holding cell.